Xaelus's blog: "Life"

My cat of over 19 years, died yesterday Aug. 20th of old age. She passed away sometime in the morning between 1:00am and 8:00am while I was sleeping. Galadriel would have been 20 years old this december and will be dearly missed. I will keep her photo albulm up for awhile and will be adding the last pictures of her that I have soon. Please stop by and rate some of photos in her memory.

I don't really always understand everything. Understanding is more a gradual process than an immediate elightening. But regardless, I have a gift for understanding the bizzare, mundane, and even weirdest of situations. Today I had such a revelation of sorts, and wonder of the relevance of my role in unfolding future events. Because of my unique situation, I often ponder if I can find some piece of happiness for myself in such an enviorment. How can I relate to normal people if I'm not normal? Will they always fear me because I'm so different? Those are some of the questions that I think of almost everyday, and now the answers seem farther away from me than ever. Maybe I should just stay away from others alltogether if all I will ever do is hurt the ones I love and care for. It's not something I do on purpose, events just have a odd way of unfolding that way. I've always done the best I can not to let fear control me. Regardless of how hard I try though, it often comes to be that my efforts to not harm others are the very reasons they do get hurt. Such is the paradox of my life.