XxPluviophilexX's blog: "Life Wisdom"

This blog entry is for anyone who is thinking about meeting or moving in with someone you have only known online.  It doesn't matter how many years you have known them.  It doen't matter how much you think you know about this person.  You may think that they are your soulmate.  You may think they are your best friend.  You've called them on the phone and heard the words come out of their own mouth, heard their voice, and you may feel connected to them.  The single most important thing you need to remember when it comes to this online world of strangers and best friends:  You may not really know them at all.  You may just know a persona they're putting up.  You might even be a fly in the world wide web of a very dangerous predator.

I'm about to share a true story.  One that is deeply personal.  If you're reading this, please, please, PLEASE pay attention and take all of this to heart.  I am gravely serious when I say that this could save your life.  As with every story, there is a beginning.  To reach that beginning, we have to go back nearly 15 years.  I was in high school.  The internet was a relatively new concept and social networking was just starting to take off.  This was before myspace, before facebook, before twitter.  I frequented an online chatroom and forum geared towards young people who existed within the goth subculture.  I met someone there who really clicked with me.  We stayed in touch for many years, and I developed feelings for him.  But he was too far away and things never really lined up for us to actually act on the feelings we had for each other.  

Fast forward to two years ago.  I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 9 years.  I was in a terrible place in life, had lost track of who I was, and really had no way to cope with everything that had happened in those 9 years.  I was struggling to get sober after a few years of binging on prescription drugs, alcohol, marijuana, and whatever drug was available so I didn't have to deal with the fact that I was no longer being true to myself.  I wanted to wipe the slate clean, start a new life, and be the person I had dreamed I could be.

My long time internet friend came into the picture again.  He had a damn good job.  He had a house of his own.  He was single.  He wanted me to come live with him and he said he'd help me get back on my feet.  He wanted me to help him finish his degree so he could get his certification and get promoted even higher in his already high-paying skilled trade job.  He wanted to be just friends first, and see if something went on from there.

People, it is so very important to remember:  If it's too good to be true, IT IS.  I had that option of leaving to go be with this person as a Plan B.  Meanwhile, I had been frantically applying to jobs all over the country.  Three days before I was set to leave to move in with him, I received a job offer in yet another state, far from him.  It was my dream job at the time, something I'd been trying to get into since I'd graduated college 3 years prior.  I could support myself with this job.  I wouldn't need help.  And better yet, it was in the same city as where my little brother is currently stationed for the Air Force, and I could crash his couch until I got a place of my own (none of the places I contacted would let me rent an apartment sight-unseen).  I accepted that job offer, not just because I could support myself, but because I was looking for any reason NOT to go with him.  Every instinct in me was screaming NO.

Fast forward again to last night.  I hadn't heard from that internet friend in over a year.  He was infuriated when I chose that job offer over him.  I figured it was because he felt betrayed.  I tried to explain that I had to do what was best for me and that was independence.  He was very angry.  I went on and lived my life, because I'd spent the past 9 years living it to make someone else happy and I wasn't about to make the same mistake again.  Last night, I was searching through my facebook friend contacts and found he was no longer there.  I did a couple google searches and found this article:  http://www.independenttribune.com/news/police-man-strangled-woman-killed-dog/article_b4f6622a-e53d-11e4-bfff-97279cd9fed3.html

That was him.  That was the man I almost moved in with.  Now, since finding all of this out, I have contacted other mutual friends and they have come to his defense.  These mutual friends have also previously been romantically involved and none of them will divulge actual details except that the media spun it to make him sound like a monster.  I don't know what is true, but I can say this:  That could have been me.  But it wasn't.  If that little voice in your head starts warning you away, if the pit of your stomach goes hollow and cold, if something just feels off...  Listen to that.  Listen closely to those cues, because they just might save your life.  And never, EVER meet a stranger without being in a public place and without multiple people knowing exactly where you're going.  Set up a check-in time and check in when you've arranged that.

That could have been me.  That could happen to you.