i can learn from mistakes
so much to know
i can put on the brakes
or decide to go
though it will break my heart
to leave this place
we must part
for our dreams to face
i can choose to go blind
or open my eyes to see
i could put myself in a bind
or choose to be free
and i know that
your always with me
i can choose to laugh or cry
sometimes its so hard to say goodbye
ok so now i'm back at sqaure one...i have my place but no job in a hell hole... i don't know what i'm going to do i'm about to be drove fucking nuts and i have no one by my side. i really feel alone here in the world again..i wish i knew what to do but then i thought i had control of my life. i guess in the end it doesn't really matter how hard you try to keep afloat only how hard you crash. i want to wallow in my own self pity right now i want a shoulder to cry on and i have none i want and need alot of things right now that i can't provide or find. i feel forsaken......
i've recently had an increase in ego seems alot of ppl think i'm hot lol wow where did that come from lol oh well still waiting for that one girl to do something and wisk me away lol might be waitng along time lol....
ok wellnot much to report i got a better job now...much much overtime lol i got to work thru the christmas but oh well just another day...hey every one thanks for the adds and what not i really need more friends lol
yeah well things are getting a little better i guess started a new job and what not and the pay is way better but other than that not much else good is happening no woman, average place to chill, same shit different day
yeah ok so, so much shit is just happening to me and i don't know what to do about it....everything is falling apart and i see it all happening and it seems like its happening so slow yet so fast and yet there is nothing i can do but fall down even further. am i destined to be picking myslef time after time after time? i hate it...i seriously want to trade this life in for a new one. or at least find a way to numb the pain. hell i'm up for anything anymore. i'm so tired of being the nice guy everyone shits on its not fair its not right and it sure as heel isn't what i wanted to be. i'm not a bad person i believe everyone should be happy but damnit when is it going to be my time? the people who say they care for me could really give a rats ass about me. and i'm starting to feel nothing but contempt for the ones who are close to my heart. i'm to the point where dying right now and going to hell would be a perfectly viable option for me....at least i know what to expect -forrest out
