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What are you waiting for?
Why is this so hard?
I do everything right
And yet I still have to fight
When will I see the light?
I know I made mistakes
So little patience is all it takes.
I don’t understand the things that happen
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be
Or maybe it’s just me
Either way I deserve more than few words
Its feels like swords
In my back, when I’m looking right at you
I see you for who you are
And yet I get judged for the small misunderstanding
Is this how its ending?
I need some explanation
Because I have a certain expectation
You are part of my motivation
Your love is my affirmation.
It been a rough couple of weeks. Giving up everything once again and starting over is not easy. But that is exactly what I did, again. I was in Texas for three years and never got in trouble, get to Maine and a week later im in deep shit. As much as I love and miss my family I really should have stayed in Texas. Yeah I got family here but when I need a break no one can watch my son cuz everyone is tired or busy. I just need to win the lottery and move far away! Oh and my day care is going to be $170 a week. How the fuck am i supposed to afford that shit?? Im just tired of everything and everyone!
So not many of you may know me. Actually a lot of you dont know me. I havent been on here in years. But just to update you real quick. My name is Kate, Im Russian. (Was adopted at age 12). Lived in Maine for most of my life until I joined the military. I was in the AirForce for three years and still would have been in if I didnt meet a certain someone(my ex husband now). We were married for less than a year. But thats another story.
Anywasy to get where I am trying to get... I just started talking to a married man. Yes it wrong I know, but there is no harm in talking right. I met him at a bar. He is not the type I usually go for. I like black guys, and this guy is white, has a beard and a mohawk... I play pool every week and thats how we met.
Yesterday, I went over his house, no his wife was not there... and gave him a massage, yes it was just a massage, well with few kisses here and there. But today he has been on my mind all day.
I feel so wrong, but its so exciting to be doing something you not supposed to....
