RedZ28 CoOwner Rate Spankers's blog: "Life is more fun with a sense of humor."

December 18 is New Jersey Day, the day New Jersey officially approved the United States Constitution, and I, for one, am ready to proclaim -- I love the Garden State and all its citizenry. After two years of living in the filthy, overpriced, nose-in-the-air concrete mold growth that is New York City, I went to the Jersey Shore for the Fourth of July and had one of the best weekends of my life. I fell asleep listening to Bon Jovi and woke up listening to Bruce Springsteen (not an exaggeration, that actually happened). Everyone was so friendly and intent on showing me a good time, and had I chosen to, I could have gone the entire weekend without paying for anything. Young women and 60-year-old-men insisted on buying me drinks. So when my lease ran out, I got the hell out of Brooklyn and moved to Hoboken, New Jersey, America's number one city for singles. So it would be my honor to take a few minutes to clear up the most outrageous and offensive slander about my adopted home state. "New Jersey is the armpit of America" If that's true, then New Jersey is like the greatest freaking armpit in the world. It's like Angelina Jolie's armpit. It's the armpit that armpit fetishists are looking for when they are surfing the Internet. And the rest of America is like some out-of-work, meth-addicted slob that will never appreciate how good an armpit it's got ... Think about it. OK, moving on. Click here to read some more reasons why New Jersey rocks. New Jersey has nothing New Jersey has everything. You want gambling? You got Atlantic City. You like sports? How about not one, but two professional football teams who left New York for real football country. You got the Jersey Shore, Newark Airport and a ridiculous amount of history. Where was Washington going when he crossed the Delaware? Jersey. Much like me, Bell Labs started in New York then moved to New Jersey. Plus, you're a few hours away from Philadelphia, New York City and D.C. if you should happen to make the mistake of leaving the Garden State. It's full of guidos You're right. It is full of Italians and they're great, so you can shut your garlic-hating mouth. Italian food is delicious. Also, if you have a good enough friend from Jersey, there's like a 100 percent chance that they "know a guy" who can "get you anything." How cool is that? (Note: This fact mostly comes from my roommate repeatedly insisting, "If you want, I know a guy who can get you on steroids by this weekend. Seriously.") New Jersey is an urban wasteland This is a wretched lie perpetuated by people who have flown in to Newark and then gone straight to New York City. Don't believe me? New Jersey is such a rugged state that they have a bear problem. Take that, Alaska. People from Jersey are ignorant and uneducated New Jersey often has the highest high-school graduation rate in the country, sometimes reaching as high as 87 percent. Meanwhile, Jersey's lauded next-door neighbor, New York, competes with states like Mississippi for the spot of lowest high-school graduation rate. New York smarter than Jersey? Fuggetaboutit. Everyone prefers to live in New York Oh yeah? Then why does pretty much every so called "New York" celebrity live in New Jersey? Because people who are rich and famous realize that it's better, so you should, too. The next time you hear someone make a crack on New Jersey, stop them and point out that Jersey is the state for real Americans with 73 percent voter turnout; a sweet, world-famous turnpike; and Bruce Motherf**king Springsteen ... Also, they should know the produce is delicious. - Courtesy of Asylum associate editor Brian Childs

showmance 1. When actors engage in a romance for the run of a show. Once the run is over so is the romance. The term originated in the theater and moved to movies and scripted television and then reality television. The term has now moved to the populace to describe any contrived romance. Dude 1: I didn't know Anthony and Cicely were dating. Dude 2: It's just a showmance, Cicely is just dating Anthony just to make Edgar jealous. Dude 1: I didn't know Anthony and Cicely were dating. Dude 2: They're not. It's just a showmance, Anthony is gay. 2. A romance between to television, film and theatre actors or realty stars who play the role of the others romantic interests in a television series, play or film (see; reality television). This typically occurs when two actors share one or more scripted "love" scenes or on-screen kisses. Showmances do, however, develop between two co-stars playing roles in which they are in no way romantically linked, however due to long hours on set and often odd or isolated locales, a couple may develop some sort of relationship to bide their time or otherwise entertain themselves. An actor or actress may mistake scripted passion or chemistry on screen, for a real life romance off-set. Showmances typically end after the filming has ended. Brangelina's showmance is one of the longest running in history. 3. A "show romance," that is, a romance that develops between reality show contestants or participants, especially one that ends as soon as the show is over. Often entered into primarily as a ploy to gain more camera time. The term was popularized by Kristen, of E!'s "Watch with Kristen." I thought Nick and Amy shared a real romance on The Apprentice, but their immediate breakup proves that it was just a showmance. 4.

baby mama 1. The mother of your child(ren), whom you did not marry and with whom you are not currently involved. Oh her? She ain't nothing to me now, girl, she just my baby mama. So, can I get your number? 2. A term used to define an unmarried young woman (but can be a woman of any age) who has had a child. As mentioned before in another definition, most of the time it is used for when it was simply a sexual relationship, compared to ex-wife or girlfriend. Usually this has a negative connotation, a lot of baby mamas are seen as desperate, gold digging, emotionally starved, shady women who had a baby out of spite or to keep a man. Sometimes they may act like this because of missed child support payments, unfulfilled promises by the father, or convenient sex by the father. Either or both may exist in any situation. Joe didn't have any relationship with that chick, she was the "other woman" who ended up being his baby mama. Maybe Andy's baby mama is pissed because he said he was taking his sons to get a haircut but instead ended up playing dominoes with his boys. Tiffany is a greedy baby mama; she is using her child support payments to buy her new boyfriend some speakers for his car. 3. A woman who has a child out of wedlock with a man. She may or may not be in a relationship with the man, but most of the time, she's not. She may think she has some sort of position or leverage in the man's life, just because she had a child with the man, but all she is, is a baby mama, nothing else. Some baby mamas use the child as a pawn or weapon to "get what they want" from the child's father, IE: money, food, sex, etc. If the man is in a relationship with a woman who has no children, the baby mama may become jealous and cause baby mama drama. A stereotype associated with baby mamas is they are poor, lazy bitches who trapped the man into getting her pregnant or tricked him by saying she was on the pill, thinking the man would pay her way in life just because she has a child with him. Not all baby mama's are like that. The majority of them just act like they can control the man just because they had a seed with them, and make it difficult for the man and threaten to take the child away or sue for more child support if the baby mama doesn't get her way. Damn, there go Jayro's baby mama. That bitch is always trying to get something from him. Yo, did you hear about Reggie's baby mama? That bitch got an extra $600 a month from him in child support, now he broke as a joke!! I don't mess with Mookie anymore. Ever since his baby mama found out about us being together, she won't stop calling him. I'll never be a baby mama. I'm wifey material, and a man ain't gon get me pregnant without marrying me first!!!! Man, my baby mama talking crazy. That bitch said if I don't come over and give her some money, I won't be able to see my son. Bitch, you just a baby mama. If he really loved you, you'd be his wife. 4. A young single mother who does not work, and only wakes up to get dressed up in her hoochie gear and acrylic shoes, just so she can push her baby around all day in it's stroller. She does this so she can find a new baby daddy. "Did you see that baby mama in town? Probably just trying to find a new baby daddy."

fakebook 1. Adding friends to facebook who you don't particularly like, socialize with or think you are friends with. Go to her fakebook pages to see all of her friends he/she does not have. 1.The underlying phoniness of services like myspace and facebook. It comes from knowing very little about your 'friends" other than that they are drunk party sluts or losers that pose for themselves. -"Hey did you talk to that cute girl?" -"Why would I?, You've seen her nasty pics on fakebook. That girl must be looooose!

WHITE WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit. Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position. IRISH WOMEN: First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex. 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex. ITALIAN WOMEN: First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant. Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs. Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring. 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex. 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress. JEWISH WOMEN: First Date: You get terrific head. Second Date: You get even more great head. Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again. CHINESE WOMEN: First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens. Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again. Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is ever going to happen. INDIAN WOMEN: First date: Meet her parents. Second date: Set the date of the wedding. Third date: Wedding night. BLACK WOMEN: First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner. Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent. Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you. MEXICAN WOMEN: First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car. Second Date: She's pregnant. Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip. ARAB WOMEN: First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out. Second Date: You are shot dead. No third date.