Cherokee God Mama's blog: "Native Amercan pride"

created on 10/30/2007 | http://fubar.com/native-amercan-pride/b148212

posted on 05/21/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;06:05&nbs-07:00;am

lets let it go
http://fubar.com/lets-let-it-go/b148212-794096

I WANT TO START BY SAYING I AM SO VERY SORRY THAT I HAVE ALLOWED MY EMOTIONS TO RUIN SOMETHING THAT AT ONE TIME WAS THE STRONGEST FAMILY ON FUBAR I ASK BEFOR I LAY MY HEART OUT IN THIS BULLY THAT YOU ALL HAVE AN OPEN MIND AND REALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY ... I FEEL IN MY HEART THAT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN PETE AND MYSELF SHOULD STAY BETWEEN HIM AND I ,,, I WAS WRONG FOR EVER TALKING TO FRIENDS ABOUT WHAT WAS HURTING ME I SHOULD HAVE TALKED TO THE I LOVE EVERYONE HERE AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER HAS MADE SOME VERY BAD MISTAKES THEY ARE NOT PROUD OF AND PETE KNOWS HE HURT ME AND HE IS SUFFERING A GREAT DEAL AND IT REALLY KILLS ME INSIDE TO SEE HIM HURT SO BAD OVER SOMETHING I COULD HAVE STOPPED JUST BY KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT ... I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST JOINED CLUB F.A.R. I WAS AMAZED AT WHAT A WONDERFUL FAMILY IT WAS AND THOUGHT WOW IM STAYING HERE THEN PETE MADE ME A OWNER AND I WAS SO HAPPY BECAUSE I PUT ALOT OF TIME INTO THIS FAMILY I LOVED SO MUCH AND WHEN ALL THIS STATED TO HAPPEN AND I REMOVED MYSELF ITS NOT WHAT I WANTED I ALWAYS SAID IM A CLUB F.A.R. GIRL FOR LIFE AND IN MY HEART I MEANT IT .I CAN NOT UNDO WHAT HAS HAPPENED ALL I CAN DO IS SAY IM SORRY AND TRY TO MOVE ON ... MOST OF YOU WELL ALL OF YOU KNOW THAT I AM NATIVE AMERICAN AND HAVE VERY STRONG ROOTS MY HERITAGE IS EVERYTHING TO ME AND ONE OF THE BIGGEST THINGS WE BELIEVE IS PEACE WE LIVE FOR IT BUT THIS LAST WEEK I HAVE NOT FELT ANY MY HEART IS HARD AND MY SPIRIT BROKE I AS WELL AS THE TRIBLE ELDERS HAVE BEEN IN A CIRCLE OF PRAYER EVERYDAY TRYING TO HELP ME MAKE SINCE OF THIS AND REGAIN MY SPIRIT .. O'GASHI-WA COMMANDED US TO ALWAYS FORGIVE 7 TIMES 7 MEANING WE GET SLAPPED 7 TIMES WE FORGIVE 7 TIMES WE GET SLAPPED 100 TIMES WE FORGIVE 100 TIMES .. THE POINT I AM TRYING TO MAKE IS THIS IF I HAD NOT PUT OUR PERSONAL BUISNESS OUT THERE WOULD THINGS BE ANY DIFFERANT ? NO THEY WOULDNT SO WHY IS EVERYONE TURNING THERE BACKS ON PETE BECAUSE HIM AND I HAVE PROBLEMS IN TIME WE WILL WORK THROUGH WHAT EVER ISSUES WE HAVE ALOT HAS HAPPENED AND CANT BE FIXED OVER NIGHT BUT WITH HOPES THAT ONE DAY WE CAN BE FRIENDS ..NOW IF IM THE ONE THAT GOT HURT AND IM SO EASY TO FORGIVE AND FORGET THEN WHY CANT EVERYONE ELSE PETE DID NOTHING TO ANYONE BUT HIMSELF HE WAS ALWAYS GOOD TO YOU AND ANYTIME SOMEONE ASKED SOMETHING OF HIM HE WAS THERE MAYBE NOT THAT DAY BUT HE ALWAYS DID HIS REQUEST AND NOW THE VERY PEOPLE THAT HE HAS DONE SO MUCH FOR HAS TURNED THEIR BACK ON HIM BECauSE HIM AND I BOTH MADE A MISTAKE PLEASE ALL I ASK IS TO LET ME AND PETE WORK THROUGH OUR ISSUES WITH EACH OTHER AND EVERYONE GO BACK TO BEFOR ITS NOT TO LATE JUST PLEASE GO TO HIM MAIL HIM TALK TO HIM THIS IS ALL I ASK ... I WILL BE LEAVING FUBAR AS SOON AS MY VIP IS UP I HAVE MET ALOT OF GREAT PEOPLE WHO I WILL MISS DEARLY BUT I NEED TO WORK ON ME AND AND START HEALING FROM EVERYTHING THAT HAS TAKEN PLACE AND BEING HERE SEEING ALL THE DIS UNITY IS BREAKING MY HEART IF I COULD CHANGE THINGS I WOULD GO BACK TO BE OWNER WITH PETE IN CLUB F,A,R, AND PUT EVERYTHING BEHIND US BUT I CANT CHANGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED ALL I CAN DO IS TRY AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND IF THAT MEANS I LOOSE FRIENDS FOR IT THEN THATS HOW IT HAS TO BE BUT I CAN NO LONGER GO BY WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME I SHOULD DO I HAVE TO FOLLOW MY HEART AND MY HEART TELLS ME THAT PETE IS BEING TREATED VERY UNFAIR AND HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH SO PLEASE EVERYONE BEFOR I GO CAN I SEE A LITTLE PEACE GO SHOW PETE THE LOVE YOU DID BEFOR THIS ALL HAPPENED IM SURE HE WILL BE THERE WITH OPEN ARMS I want to let everyone know I am getting lots of mail about me and Pete working things out because we belong together just to let all know Pete and I have talked there will no more me and Pete we are single but will remain friends to much has happened that I believe can not be fixed but in time we can pick up and stay friends we are still talking a little here and there but we both need our space from each other to let time heal our spirits but thank you again everyone.

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