LuvDuMpliN's blog: "lackin a bit of IRONic in ya life?. or is this hypocrisy?"

i have ONE person,,(man obviously) that i want to talk to, i see him on the fly, wondering if hes in stealth mode, just when im to the point of accepting the fact hes out of the pic for a bit,BAhaHMM..there he is.. my heart is thumping, my breathe catches in my throat, i answer him in my shoutbox but no response...is it that hes playing coy..or that its on the blitz again,OR that hes on that shitty dialup again? I DONT KNOW!. BUT..you know who you are..I MISS YOU..CANT WAIT TO JUST BE BESIDE, ANYWHERE, PLAIN AND SIMPLE

Did shock ya'll? It said NSFW...i now KNOW to block it..yes...all women do it, well, most women DO, the others go to bed dreaming of doing it as well as i@!!! lol ok.im tipsy, i have a right ..NAANNANANNA!!!!! soo..bite me, For those who dont know NOW i have made it MY EYES ONLY.. For others?.. `fade to black!.dodo doodoododododo (just a dream)

1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke. 3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face. 5. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? A Lickalotapuss. 6. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders. 7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung. 8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake. 9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have balls. 10. What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes. 11. What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market. 12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 7. What if there were no hypothetical questions? 8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? 9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 10. Is there another word for synonym? 11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" 12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? 13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to start speaking? 19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? 20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? 21. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. 23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? 24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 25. How is it possible to have a civil war? 26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? 27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? 28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it? 30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? 31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? 32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? 33. If you spin an Oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented? 34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?