BealzesBud's blog: "Just stuff..."

I'm back at my work desk. I almost wasn't. The bathrooms in our office are on a different floor. I went down the stairwell to get to them. About halfway down the stairs, though, I stopped. I got to thinking how nice it would be to just sit on the steps, watching others go up or down the steps. Taking a small break in a long day and longer career. I wondered what people would say to me as they made their way to their destinations. Would they worry about me, or would they just pass me by, thinking it's another of my strange goings-on or something. How much longer do I have to put up with the crap of office politics, corporate madness, and the like? Worse yet, how much longer CAN I put up with it? I didn't know then, and I don't know now. I do know that, if I had sat on the steps, I wouldn't have wanted to get back up. I don't know if I'd have the strength of will to get back up. It's at times like this I can definitely use a mental breakdown...

You know, one thing I do sometimes is imagine different suicide techniques. One that has caught my attention recently is jumping from a tall building. One question I had for that would be, would it be better face down (so you see the ground rushing up to you) or face up (so you don't see it). For me, I think I'd be better off face down. That way, I wouldn't be worried every split second that I'm about to hit. Face up, while it could be relaxing for some, would make the "not knowing" factor ruin the death. But hey, that's just me...