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When people look at me, they think I am a happy-go lucky person.But in reality,I'm not.My heart breaks alittle more each day.I try to paste on a smile to fool people into thinking there is nothing wrong.I just feel like jumping off the highest cliff so everyone would be happy that I am gone.I love my kids and I would do anything for them but they are hurting and there is really nothing I can do for them except to try and be there for them.My daughter is only 2 so she is not sure whats going on but my 2 boys do.I hear it everyday from them that they love their dad but dont understand why he does what he does.13 yrs is a long time to just give up but it's over.I have cried so much that I can probably water a corn field with no problem.What I hate is that I dont have anyone to talk to.I am just at my wits end with everything and everyone.I keep asking myself,who wants a single mother of 3 kids?? Answer,noone!! I think the thing that hurts the most is that I still love him so much.Even after everything going on,I still love him and want him.But I know that its over and I am just gonna be a single mother who will never get married and will die alone.i wanted so much better for my kids.I have tried so hard to make things right but I guess I just didnt try hard enough.Sometimes I wish that I would fall asleep and never wake up.Maybe then he will be happy because then he wouldnt have to put up with me any longer.But I gotta be stronge or try to be for my kids.With their dad leaving,I have to be there for them no matter what.There goes what social life I had,which was nothing.
I want to get something straight with everyone. I am not here to steal anyones man or anything like that.I am here to make friends and have fun.The last thing I need right now is a man.I used to be in a relationship but now its over and has been for yrs.I was just to blind not to see it.All I want to do now is concentrate on my job, my kids, and getting my life straight.If I pissed off anyone on here,I am very sorry.Its just I like to have fun and tease/flirt with guys as well as women.I don't mean anything by it,its just pure fun.I have more things to worry about than trying to steal someones man.Trust me,right I don't want a man.I gotta get my life on track.Alot of things have happened to me in the past 4 yrs.From losing my first born nephew to losing my boyfriend,my best friend.We would have been together for 13 yrs. may 11th.Thats a hell of a long time to be with someone.He is the father of all 3 of my children and was the love of my life.Now we just live together.Trying to get through each day for our kids.I already have been looking for places to live for my kids and I so he can be "free".I still very much love him but I know that he does not love me back.So I have to do whats best and move on.Unfortunatly it took this long to do it because I needed a good job before I did anything.Now since I have one,its time to say goodbye and start my life over.I knew we were never going to get married.I just felt it.I just hope that whoever he gets with sees through him for who he really is.I think he stopped loving me after I started having his kids because I got fat.I try to lose the weight but damn its hard.Now I am going to be a fat single mom of 3 wonderful kids.I just hope if I ever find the right guy,that he loves me for who I am,good and bad.Well thats all I have to say.Like I said earlier,if I really pissed off anyone on FuBar,I am very deeply sorry!I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and we can just be friends.XOXOXOXO,Sharon
Does anyone ever feel like your alone and unwanted? I feel that way most of the time. I just feel like noone but my kids loves me. I am basically a single mom of three wonderful kids. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but I wish I had a man who loved me for me and love my kids. I just feel like I hate my life. I need a change in my life. Hopefully with me working, I can. My kids father lives with us. I have tried to make it work with us but it seems like he don't want it to work. He wants his freedom but wants to use me at the same time. I feel like going outta my mind!!!
Why it is guys have to lie about being in a relationship?They claim that they are single when actually they are with someone.I am so confused!!That's why I said most guys are jerks!!I swear i am going to become a complete leisbain.I can't find a guy that is worth a damn.I have my kids,that's all I need.I thought this guy actually was with me and actually loved me,I guess I was wrong.He wants to go "out" with other women but he still wants me.I am so damn confused.I am not supposed to have guys phone numbers in my phone and I am not supposed to talk to guys on the pc,talk on the phone or text.But he has other womens phone numbers in his phone and he talks to other women on the phone,pc,and texts them.WTF!!!!!It just pisses me off.When I mention something about it,he gets pisses and starts with his mouth.He says that I am just jealous.Am I??Am I just over reacting??I don't know.I am so flippin confused!I do still love him but I don't think the feelings are muatual.He calls me his girlfriend but he acts like he don't care about me and my kids.I swear I am just going to give up on guys all together.
Why is it when you want to post something like pictures of urself or blogs,that there has to be haters??Well I came up an answer,they r just haters who don't ethier like themselfs and have to be mean to others or just to be donkeys!!I really don't really care what people think or say about me.I do what I want when I want.I don't start anything with anyone unless they start with me.I am the nicest person there is until you piss me off then I turn into a real bitch!Sorry that is just the way I am.I have a saying,Fuck with my family,you Fuck with me!!!!!and also,Love me,Love my kids!!I am going to be 32 yrs old,I don't need any high school crap!!I mean damn,grow up people!!Are we adults or teenagers back in high school??!!
