crockpot's blog: "just something I wrote...."

My demon and angel Hath both come tonight... They appear in my dreams To continue the fight. My angel is there Just biding his time Until called upon By the sound of my cries. I watch in silence As together they clash My demon is strong, With powers to match, My Angel is stronger With Love as his guide So I stand there defiantly Right by his side My demon could kill me With a flick of his wrist But my angel has protected me With his powerful kiss... The Demon is weakening Fighting this fight HE knows that his darkness Cannot beat the light. As the demon grows weaker My angel grows strong And with a look of defeat The demon moves on. So I open my eyes And I feel so free Knowing my angel Is right beside me. He opens his eyes And he smiles his smile, Puts his arms around me And he holds me awhile. As I lay with my angel My head on his chest I have never felt safer In his arms I can rest. Forever and ever With my angel by my side We can beat any demons That come round at night.

Untitled Confusion is the most dominant emotion for me right now. I am stuck in this heartfelt rendition of killing me softly while I feel the sweet pain and ardent pleasure as I cut through the tender flesh to my quivering soul. Perfection to me is priceless. My perfect self would sit and feel nothing while gently caressing the scars that have created this momentis nothing. In nothing is everything. No pain, therefore no pleasure, no heartache, thus no love, No anger so of course no happiness. But are happiness, love and pleasure such a high price to pay for that sweet nothingness? And furthermore what are, love, pleasure, and happiness but the strangled confusion that has been lovingly enveloped in a mask of pain heartache and loss? So while you sit in your comforting silence staring out at the starry night sky rubbing away the tear of wonder that has unknowingly escaped at the sight of the ultimate beauty of what you are looking upon and thanking your lucky stars that your happy, healthy and all is well. Please remember there may be someone not too far away staring at that same sky rubbing away their tears of sorrow, sadness and pain. Cursing those same stars as they have not been quite so lucky and wishing they had the confusion of ardent pleasure and sweet pain instead of killing themselves softly while caressing the quivering flesh that would soon be cut to release their tender soul into that beautiful momentis sweet and ultimately perfect nothing

If you love them set them free, if they come back its meant to be.... thats the old fable, its tried and true.. But when they dont come back what the fuck do you do? Do you sit there hoping, praying and dreaming? Letting life pass you by while u sit there believing? And what do you do after a long times passed, when you finally decide to get up off your ass? You start partying teasing playing and taunting but in the back of your mind the memorys haunting so you try to move forward but still you digress. back to their perfect Kiss and caress. Back before they put love to the test... Back in their arms in the morning. after making love in the evening.. back before all the tears when they said they were leaving So what the fuck do you do when you cant stop hoping? U just look down at the stash of shit you've been smoking... And what the fuck do you do when you cant stop praying? U think of the game of russian roulette u were playing... u look at the scars on your legs and your chest and your arms... and u pray no one sees the scars on your heart. Well what the fuck do u do when you cant stop dreaming? You eliminated that shit when you stopped sleeping.... In the blink of an eye...Its the last of your stash... and in the moment of clarity right before u crash... U find the answers to all of your questions at last.... Tears flow down your cheeks, and slowly you smile... When u realized it was ur questions that were off by a mile... You loved them and you set them free... so the lesson learned is what was meant to be... They were Never coming back...u knew that from the start... U finally start using your head, and let go of your heart... Now your older and wiser, even jaded some say.. And eventually you will look back on this day. you'll look at your new life and you will shake your head Remembering when love almost left u for dead.