shelby's blog: "just because"

I think there should be a station that plays no Love songs what so ever.  I know it sounds stupid. Or maybe I should go to a hypnotist and they should make me forget totally about all the pain I am going through right now. Is that possible? Just wondering. Maybe a labotomy!  That should do the trick. Yeah its another one of those days. I would like a guy to prove to me that they are all not the same.  Im not gonna hold my breath though.

I don't know why i'm writing this honestly because you will never read it.  I see you everytime I close my eyes, hear your voice when everything is silent, and I just want to scream and cry your name everytime I open my mouth. I can still feel your arms around me. You hurt me so bad AGAIN that I had no choice but to walk away.  I'm sorry I just disappeared but if I saw you I knew I would have forgotten about my heart you ripped out yet again. I can't put myself through it anymore.  I know you were told I was back with him.  THat was a lie, that was the only way I knew you wouldn't try to come back around. I know you loved me but you were loving others too and that I cannot do anymore. I am alone and probably will be for a while.  I hope you realize that you were everything to me. I will love and think about you till the day I die. Even though I left you my heart is the one thats broken and this time, the pieces can't be put back together by you.