Simply Complicated's blog: "Just Anything and Everything"

This has been a weekend like none other I have had before. Gill came to meet and spend the weekend with me :D It was amazing. It still seems like a dream to me. I met him so randomly yet our souls seem to know each other already. Here I am, a mother and grandmother, and learning what it is to love for the first time. Life for me will not be the same since he is in my life. The path has been shown clearly and he has taken my hand to follow it. Heck he even remembered the cup cakes, LOL The only true way to express it is with poetry as some of you know. Here is the one he has inspired. Ocean Waves Before you my mind was awash in an ocean of sorrow, But now I think about the possibility of "our" brighter tomorrow. I see you on the horizon of the ocean’s waves, To you my heart, soul and mind are but slaves. You have captured control of my very core, You snuck in before I could shut the door. I fear yet love the wonders of how you make me feel. Why is it you, what’s the deal? How did you steal into my heart? Why did I give you the power to tear me apart? You’re special in ways you can’t comprehend. Just don’t hurt me in ways of which I’ll never fully mend. You’re the waves upon the sea, Wild, untamed, yearning to be free. You’re the wind upon my face, Softly brushing against me, making my pulse race. You’re the rain soaking me to the very core. You’re all the things I dream about...and so much more. You’re the lightning invading my psyche, I open my eyes, you’re all I see. Like the ocean on a stormy night, You are unto me a magnificent site. You’re the sun-burnished surf against the twilight sky, You complete me...I know and care not why... pp2008

Today is the day. Judy has her eye surgery today. Its the second one on her eyes. I pray that this is the last one. This little girl has gone through so much in her 7 short years. Judy is an amazing little girl. She faces all her difficulties and challenges with a smile and cheerful outlook. She has exceeded everything the doctors thought. She is a "chatty cathy" when they said she would not speak, she runs when they said she would never walk, she loves and knows when you are joking with her when they said she would never be able to bond or recognize emotions. To all who read this, I ask for prayers today. Be it to God, Allah, The Goddess, a Higher Power, whom ever or what ever. That Judy is held in their arms and that they guide the surgeons hand to give Judy perfect vision after this operation. Thank You so very much.... We are off to the surgical center. Hugs.........Trish

I follow you You are the best guide To the center There is a maze and walls Monsters and butterflies “Come now Turn this way and that Left, right, right again” Through this maze created. The twists and turns forged Through happy pain, light Sorrow People will tell you This maze is madness. But it keeps the demons out, And you as a guide let me in. Stay fast “It is time to climb the walls One then another Never watch the walls They are constructed Of the wants, dreams, Loves They will make you a Part of their mortar As fast as quicksand” “Here pet Rest awhile you have made it The happy center of The swirl of life” “You've have made it. The point where all the me's Are we Welcome home.” The frost ghost shadow hands Can’t touch the Happiness of us in here The great the joy I have in sharing this world With you pp2008

MODERN DAY KNIGHT Are you one who dares to go where others fear to tread? Can you slay the formidable dragons that most men dread? Do you believe chivalry should live on and never die? That honor should be reflected in all aspects of your life? Do you undertake quests for a creed or praise of the world? Are you determined and committed when others are unsure? Do you believe in being courteous in word and deed? Ride for love of God and Truth on your snowy, faithful steed? With valiant pride, inner strength, nobleness and all your might, When trouble arises do you wield your sword for right? Can you be trusted to keep your sacred vows and word? Where others have given up, do you persist and endure? Are you steadfast, though you are far from view? A champion of justice, worthy of the charge given to you? Would you rescue a damsel in distress with gallantry? With steely glint in your eye, face down the enemy? Would you search 'til you find the 'Holy Grail' of true love? Drink from its cup; rejoice in its discovery thereof? To win the maiden's love would you go to any depth or length? Boldly persist, let nothing and no one stand in your way? Be completely devoted, on her only, use your charm? Let her feel the purity and strength from your powerful heart? With humbleness, on bended knee, would you ask for her hand? Shout your love out to the world declaring you’re her man? Would you defend her honor ... even if it’s not without spot? Share everything you hold most dear, give her all you’ve got? Surround her in your righteousness like armor that protects? Keep her shielded from wicked intentions – so they deflect? Hold her close, with a love that will remain unsurpassed? Cradled safe against your chest so no ghost can pass? Are you honest, true, faithful, loyal and without guile? To have her love and tender heart would you go the extra mile? In tones of hushed reverence, with passion, would you her address? Stripped of armor show your vulnerability and tenderness? Would you give her your love, respect, trust, and fidelity bestow? Cherish every moment with her, hold tight and never let her go? pp2008

She reached into her little bag Pulled out a shiny coin Coiled it in her fingers Until they looked enjoined She glanced about As if to see If any were watching her Then quickly looked up to the stars Wishing with all her world That her mother would be watching From the heavens up above She wanted her to know She still needed to be loved She knew it wasn't her fault She just wanted now to share That this coin within her fingers Was one without compare It was one she found on her dresser The day her mother died So she looked upon the heavens Unbidden began to cry She cast another look around Then once more at her hand Then shoved it in her pocket Afraid she'd turn to sand Retracing every step she made She walked out of the door Invisible to everyone She was walked on like the floor Some say she went to heaven That day she tried to leave He wouldn't let her Her attempt just got him peeved Her child tried to get help A neighbor heard and called They found her on the ground She never made a sound He wouldn't drop the weapon Though they plead with him that day And when he went toward them He said he'd made her pay Shots were fired and he fell She didn't hear his cry For she went up to heaven On the day she was to die A mother killed by her husband A child left alone A day like any other You heard it on the phone It was on the news last night In the paper just this morn Terrible this violence Have you seen the price of corn Gasoline up twenty cents Funeral this week Can you believe that sale at Kmart That sweater looks real neat I heard the girls in foster care Terrible to hear I'm sure she'll get on over it Now let's go get a beer She reached into her little bag Pulled out a shiny coin......... pp2008

Please Hear What I Am Not Saying Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by this mask that I wear. For I wear a thousand masks and none of them are really me. Masks that I'm too afraid to take off, fearing that you'll get to know me. Pretending is an art that is second nature to me. I'm pretending that I am in command and that I need no one. That I'm cool and that my surface is so smooth and I cannot be shaken by anything. I act as if I am in control, but please don't for one moment be fooled by my surface, that's only my mask. Beneath this mask lies no smugness, no complacence. Beneath this mask dwells the real me in confusion, loneliness, and fear. But I don't dare tell you that. I don't dare tell you that this is my mask. I'm frightened by all the possibilities of my weaknesses being exposed. I think about it all the time. Will I look like a fool? That's why I work frantically to create this mask to hide behind in my relationship with people. This nonchalant, sophisticated facade helps me pretend and shields me from the glance that knows me. But such a glance is precisely my only salvation. It's my only salvation if, however, the glance is followed by acceptance and love. It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison...from the barriers that I have so painstakingly created. It is only that glance that will assure me of what I cannot assure in myself and, that is, that I am really worth something. But I don't tell you this. I don't dare to. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid that you'll think less of me...that you'll laugh and that your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep-down I am nothing. That I'm just no good and soon you're going to find out and you'll no longer love me...that you'll reject me. So I play my game. My desperate, pretending game with the facades of assurance from without and that of a trembling little child from within. And my life becomes a front. And I idly chatter to you in suave tones about anything that really means nothing. And yet I can never tell about the crying inside of me... of my greatest hurts...of my deepest fears...my concerns. I can't tell you that because I am afraid. So please listen carefully not to what I am saying, but to what I am not saying. To what I'd like to be able to say. And for what my very own survival I need to say. I dislike this hiding...honestly. I dislike this phony, superficial game I'm playing. I really would like to be genuine and spontaneous and me. But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand. You've got to hold out your hand even when it appears to you that it's the last thing I want from you, because I am going to share a secret with you about myself; the moment I act like I need you the least is the moment I need you the most. The moment I act like I need you the least is the moment I need you the most. Don't be fooled by this mask. When you see anger in this mask, don't be fooled for one second...that's not anger, that's hurt. The mask of anger is easier to show than the mask of hurt. And if we make the error of looking at people's masks only to see anger on their face, we may end up in a confrontation only because we missed the point. You have the power to wipe away this blank stare of the "breathing dead" beneath this mask. It will not be easy for you. Long felt hurts make my masks endure. The nearer you approach me the harder I may strike back. Irrationally, I fight against the very thing that I cry out for - my identity. You may wonder who I am. You shouldn't. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. I am someone you know very well. I am every man and woman and child. I am you.

Do you ever cry a water fall, but don't know where it ends. Do you ever look for love, but find it in the wrong places. Do you ever smile happily, but inside you are angry. Do you ever listen to silence, but find the voices are overwelling. Do you ever breath, but your heartbeat gets in the way. Do you ever run, but panic set in for you dont know which way to go. Do you have a spirit, but can't find it. Do you ever close your eyes for a brief moment, but it turns in a nightmare. Do you ever wish, but find it didn't come true. Do you like yourself, but not on the outside. Do you tell the truth, but don't know where to begin. Do you speak, but without words. Do you fight, but don't know whom with. Do you live, but don't know why. Do you fall, but don't know where to. Do you write, but feel your writing has no meaning. PP2007

As most of you know my youngest, Judy is special needs. For all her difficulties to over come she is one of the sweetest most loving little girl I have ever met. Okay, I'm sure thats alot of Mommy speaking LOL I am so very proud of her. She does all her therapies with a smile and works very hard. She has had some trouble with her left eye ever since her last eye surgery. Found out some good news, the vision is getting better, but it looks like she is going to need MORE surgery on the eye. She has come through every one very well, its Mom who falls apart. I let everyone know when they schedual it and ask for any prayers you may have for her. It looks like it will be in mid August when she has a break from school. If I seem off for the next few days, I'm just trying to absorb it all. Thank You to ALL my family, friends and fans, your the best. Many Hugs, Trish

My Dad I remember your smile as you look down on me, I remember the sights you told me I'd see, I remember your kiss, the affection so real, I remember the love that I used to feel, Your presence made me safe, so happy inside, A respect for you that cannot be denied. We were always so close; I had nothing to fear, There was a time I thought you'd always be here, I could face the future, with you at my side, I could openly live with nothing to hide, So long ago, it seems like yesterday, With you in my dreams, my memories stay. The day that you left, tears fell from my eyes, I didn't have a change to tell you goodbye, Yet still I feel you, I know that you see The life I am living, with you guiding me, You gave me strength, built up from my heart, Although you are gone, we are not apart. I remember your smile as you look down on me, I remember the sights you told me I'd see, Your guidance is part of my destiny I thank you for your love It created me. PP03/25/2007 In memory of my Dad, Edward Hunt.