RoCkCaNdY's blog: "just a word or two"

Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday.                                              

 tomorrow at 3:18pm, a tiny 1lb 6oz miracle was born by c-section 25 weeks early 7yrs ago. She let out a tiny fighting yell and she was handed off to the team of doctors to be stabilized and given her Apgar score, hers were 5 and 9 @ 1 and 5 minutes!. She lived in the NICU in an incubator for 14 weeks. I could not hold her until she was almost 5 weeks old due to the fact she was sooooo premature and tiny so her nervous system could not take even the smallest touch. She had 5 blood transfusions, HBP, low blood sugar, and a breathing tube and a feeding tube in her tiny mouth at the same time. every limb had a life saving or monitor device in it or on it. I drove everyday 1 hour and 1/2 each way to visit my daughter, and I would call every night around 3am to check on her and to talk to her nurse, then get up and be there by 1030 the next day. My pinky finger was bigger than her whole hand. They keep premmie babies on lots of pain meds also, they say it helps them not to remember the pain and all the outside stimulation and keeps the calm.  The MOST heart wrenching thing I think I have every seen is when they where changing my daughters diaper and she tried to cry but nothing came out due to the tubes in her mouth and throat.  

So after 14 weeks, she comes home and develops a viral lung infection and is rushed to the hospital again after only being home 1 week, she went back into the hospital on my birthday, she was in the hospital for 1 week. During her time there her eyes were examined and they found problems, she had laser surgery that week also and had a lens removed due to cataracts. After she went home she ended up having several more laser surgery's and the other lens removed and is now legally blind.( She goes to public school and is a lil spitfire and runs and plays and keeps me on my toes every moment she is not sleeping.) And ALL OF THIS before she was six months old and I have done this all by myself with no help from the man who said he loved me at one time. So thats why I say dont bring me your drama or your bullshit because my daughter is the toughest,most stubborn, strong willed,bull headed, most beautiful blue eyed blonde haired angel on earth..... and NONE OF US have the right to lay our burdens on others without walking a mile in their shoes first!