ezekial777's blog: "jesus dear fucking christ"

so i am sitting here alone in my apt. sick of cleaning"been doing it all day" and the internet is boring me. and the wife is away. its too late to go to a bar or anywhere else for the matter. so i am listening to itunes wondering what trouble hon is getting into. and wondering how i can make money to pay off my debts. its not gonna happen but its nice to think i will pay it off at some point. if only my job had predictable hours then i could get a second job but when they can tell you with only 24 hours notice that you have to work then that doesnt make it easy to schedule another job ....i just need a sugar momma or a rich old widow who in exchange of me cleaning out her cobwebs will leave me everything. ah the american dream of something for nothing gotta love pipe dreams. well thats all for now

sometimes i wonder if its normal to just turn 3 shades to homicidal where just existing makes you want to plow your head through your monitor, how is it that i feel this way? is it because of the drugs i did years ago or am i just fucked up. do normal people live this way waking everyday hoping its the last you have to put up with and you get through it or am i a small percentage that just never acclimated to being a person. detached and furious at what i've become. i know the world doesn't owe me anything but it would be nice to have a day off from the shit storm. and i keep telling myself it'll get better but i don't think it will actually i think it will only get worse but how do you fix something when you know its broken but it seems so unfixable. where do you go when all your dreams and hopes have died and your just a shell going through the motions. at least the lottery still exists and gives me false hope of a better life

i was thinking the other day of some of the things in life i had been taught and so i thought i would start posting some. 1. when you want to show someone how much you care sometimes the simplest actions work better than any gift like dancing with them to an old john lennon song in your room. " i frequently dance in the kitchen with my wife" 2. it is okay to have ice cream for breakfast as long as you have good company to eat it with. 3. anything to get by - this i was taught by my mom and it seems rather selfish but if you die then you dont get to do anything else so survival is key 4. you can please some of the people some of the time but you can offend everyone if you try hard enough. 5. if you want to know who looks at your ass then just put a give me a dollar patch above it and whoever does will reply i dont have a dollar 6. no matter how much you do in life you always want to do more 7. simple things are beautiful except simple people they are just scary and i will add to the list as i think of things

my drunk fat neighbor just called the cops on us for making too much noise. it would be fine but hons on her computer and i was watching mind of mencia quietly thank god we called the landlord about her royal fatness. i cant wait to hear what he says about this.

isn't it wonderful when the money you pay in taxes supports those who dont need it like the drunk bitch that lives below us who doesnt work and makes all the noise in the world but then comes upstairs to complain about us making noise. i can understand if we were being loud but when we are sitting quietly in our office typing away no noise except the slight clicking of keys and this is the sixth time she has banged on our door and every time its the same hollering in a slurred voice how we woke her. im sorry but we were sitting here quietly and didnt hear or make any noise. "her" well im gonna call the cops and the landlord blah blah blah. i dont know if its the apartment next to her but god i wish she would choke on her double chin i pay taxes to help those in need not support your drinking habit what am i supposed to do go to every apartment out of the nine and beg everyone to stay quiet so they can hear you crystal clear vomiting and yelling at your boyfriend. or maybe tell the cops that drop you off three times a week to keep it down as they shuttle you from the bar to your front door. its bastards like this that make me want to just slice my veins open cause for every one decent person in this world there seems to be fifty of them milking the system and festering the sanity of people like me. damn maybe i should get a shrink to evaluate me im sure i could be deemed insane and incapable to work and i could stay home with you and we could drink bud ice together and remember the good old days of when you could see your feet. god just fucking strike me down now before you put another one on this planet , just fucking kill me and let me have some fucking peace

sometimes i wonder what is it i am actually doing with my life. Most of my hopes and dreams have burnt up in reality, as a kid i wanted to be a great chef and i used to love cooking -but six years in restaraunts killed that i rarely ever cook and its been bout six years since i quit the kitchens. i like doing art but my vision is never what ends up in the end product and the years ive been doing it my skills have barely progressed by the time i have it right i will be sixty, my job barely gets me by i havent gone grocery shopping in over a year. and the monthly ramen supply doesnt count. i lack vision and drive. where do you go from here how do you unbury yourself from suffocating in the life you lead without damaging the few good things in it. and all people ever seem to offer up is why dont you go to school but what good does school do if you lack motivation and money is a factor in that and bout $10k in the hole i dont think debt will help me anymore without a specific end rout. and im too sparse of a person to have one focus im a jack of all trades how do you focus on one thing when you want to do it all damn my life is confusing yet simple well just ranting and trying to think things through so dont mind this rambling but if you want to send me bundles of money feel free cause amillion dollars buys a lifetime of food and mt.dew you always hear of people who sold their soul for fame and fortune wheres my contract

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Extreme

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

only 14 days till that morning where i cant shop anymore and no cash to finish up my list. granted i dont have much more to get but its coming down to the line its always so hectic. sucks that works got no overtime this year -bastards being productive and smooth operating. this is usually where i make the bulk of mmy yearly income. well that was my rant on the other hand it will be over soon and then the good holiday the one dedicated to drinking in public and watching a ball drop" no not your fifth birthday perv" new years.