Mrsvirgo1975's blog: "ITS ALL ABOUT ME"

This is a very busy time of year for us all. We are trying to get our Christmas shopping done, our houses decorated, sending out Christmas cards. I going from job interview to job interview. Trying to keep my spirits up. It never fails, this time of year my heart tends to miss all the dear people in my life that have since pass. Grandpa Ted you left us on a cold Nov morning. Uncle Skip you decided to go 3 days before Christmas. Carl even though we loss you in the summer I cant help but think of you every time our favorite Christmas song is played. And Grandma Elnora well every time of the year I miss you. I cant help but slow down during the holiday season and remember all the good times I had with you. Grandma and Grandpa, I often wish Brendan and Joshua had gotten a chance to see and feel the love you gave to all your grandchildren. I know they would adore you as much as I know you guys would truly love and adore them. You two are the perfect definition of grandparents. Uncle Skip, I am often sad this time of year, because you decided to leave this world and me behind, under your own terms, never once thinking what your dear niece would feel or how much I truly needed you in my life. You where like a dad to me and I miss you so..... Carl my dear old friend. I miss those cold December nights I would walk 3 miles to your house just so we could drink your vodka and play your old Christmas records. How we would get so drank and have fun singing "Please come home for Christmas". You left the world way to soon, Now all I have left is our Christmas song and the wonderful memories of our short time together. So as the next few weeks go by and people are in the hustle and bustle of Christmas shopping I take a step back, and remember all my loves ones who cant be with me this year. Yes it makes me sad however it also warms my heart when I think of them. It keeps me grounded and makes me remember that the true meaning of holiday joy is the family and friends I have to share it with this year. Merry Christmas to all who have entered, left and remain in my life. I love you all!!!!

I Believe... That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other. I Believe... That we don't have to change friends, If we understand that friends change. I Believe... That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I Believe... That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I Believe... That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I Believe... That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I Believe... That you can keep going long after you think you can't. I Believe... That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I Believe... That either you control your attitude or it controls you. I Believe... That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I Believe... That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time. I Believe... That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up. I Believe... That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I Believe... That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I Believe... That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. I Believe... That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I Believe... That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. I Believe... That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever. I Believe... Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I Believe... That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I Believe... That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help. I Believe... That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I Believe... That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I Believe... The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything

Thoughts of Suicide (An original by me) She sits alone starring out the window; Wondering what has happened to her. As she sits and waits; She knows that this is her fate. She was once filled with peace and tenderness; Now pain and anger fill her heart; As hatred tares her apart. As she sits and waits; She knows she will see hells gate. She once believed in love and togetherness; Now the darkness has captured her soul; As deaths breath takes its toll. She sits alone starring out the window; Wondering what has happened to her.

Sometimes Sometimes I wonder why I'm in this world Sometimes I wonder if I was gone would anyone care Sometimes I say to myself I'm here for a reason But sometimes I think to myself What is that reason for Sometimes it's hard for me to live my life Sometimes I just break down and cry Sometimes I think why this had to happen to me Out of all the people in this world It had to be me Sometimes I imagine how my life would be If I was just normal But that's hard to imagine Because it's never going to happen Sometimes I ask God Why is my life so hard to live But sometimes I know he's looking down at me Saying you were met to be like this Sometimes people say my life ain't that hard to live Sometimes I want those people to be in my shoes To see how my life actually is Sometimes my life could be easy Sometimes my life could be hard Sometimes I don't even care about my life Sometimes I just wish I would die Sometimes I don't have anyone to go to Because sometimes I know some people don't care Sometimes I need someone who understands Sometimes I don't need someone who don't give a damn Sometimes people say keep your head up and you'll get through it Sometimes people don't understand It's hard for me to keep my head up and get through it Sometimes I know God is watching me And God knows where I'm heading

Song: SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE by NINE INCH NAILS I still recall the taste of your tears Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep Anymore You make this all go away You make this all go away I'm down to just one thing And i'm starting to scare myself You make this all go away You make this all go way I just want something I just want something I can never have You always were the one to show me how Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now This thing is slowly taking me apart Gray would be the colour if I had a heart Come on, tell me You make this all go away You make this all go away I'm down to just one thing And I'm starting to scare myself You make this all go away You make this all go away I just want something I just want something I can never have In this place it seems like such a shame Though it all looks different now I know it's still the same Everywhere I look you're all I see Just a fading f**king reminder of who I used to be Come on, tell me! You make this all go away You make this all go away I'm down to just one thing And i'm starting to scare myself You make this all go away You make it all go way I just want something I just want something I can never have I just want something I can never have