Lee's blog: "It's My Life"

Children can sometimes say the funniest things. My daughter is still struggling to say certain things and words. Sometimes she says them correctly and other times she will make up her own words. I was talking to her last night and my mother was trying to get her to say various words and phrases. Such as "That's discusting!" and "octopus", which all came out wrong but were good attempts and damn funny. When she tried several times to say "Happy Thanksgiving", she gave up and spit out "Happy Nicegiving"! So I want to wish everyone a Happy Nicegiving today!!!

I just got back from the hospital a little bit ago. Couldn't stand not being able to eat...this girl loves to eat!!! :P I have strep throat, staph infection, and inner ear infection!!! Yay!!!! So now I'm going to get doped up and then sit back and enjoy the meds!!! :)

The last couple of days have been really crappy. My fibromyalgia has been acting up, but I haven't been diagnosed yet so it may be a problem getting scripts for it. I was fired yesterday and then today wasn't much better. Went with my boyfriend to the doctor this morning to find out that he had strep throat and staph infection...Where the hell did he get that from?! We just had my kids over here a couple of days ago. So now I have to worry about them developing it. They are only three years old and don't talk...it's not like they can tell anyone that they have a soar throat!!! I already have an appointment on Tuesday. I'll tell her about it and she'll take care of me. The poor boys can't get to the doctor til at least Wed. Provided that their father is responcible enough to make the call and get them an appointment!!! Which whenever i told him about this whole thing he decided to bring up the fact that he might try to get child suppost from me!! Like that is more important than taking them to the doctor right now!! For those of you that don't know me...my children aren't living with me right now because of the place I live in. I live with a family right now and there is honestly no room for them here at the moment. But I am working on it!!! I told him when I moved out that I wasn't going to sign any papers giving him any type of legal custody!!! I am not going to do that!! He can go fuck himself!!! So then I had to deal with getting my CAC card reset and everything today. That was a nightmare!!! Our reserve center doesn't have the equiptment to do that. I had to go to the reserve center and talk to NMCI, then to the National Guard, and then back to the reserve center!! It took me two hours to do that!! Now I can't remember how to set up my CAC card reader at home!!! Why does everything have to be so complicated?!

This is my daughter's name. The meaning of my name was dead on, so I decided to look up her's too. She's only 4 but she has her own fan club!! LOL The "Angel Fan Club"!!!! Discover the hidden meaning in your name Angelique Angel, heavenly messenger : Greek Your charming, witty and vibrant personality ensures your popularity and usually places you at the centre of activities. You also have a determined will and capacity for leadership which often places you in positions of authority. Your generous, humanitarian and idealistic nature gives you a desire to work towards goals which will be of benefit to everyone. Material and emotional success are a natural result of your endeavours.

I have been into it with another woman at work lately, actually it's been going on since I started there. It wasn't too bad til here recently. She always works the morning shift and I work at nights. So I never really have to see her or anything. The other day she came in when I was working and got up in my face and wanted to fight me. I asked her what her problem was that she didn't like me. She replied that I never do my work and always leave a shit ton for her to do in the morning. Which obviously isn't true. I do my job and I go the extra mile and do stuff that isn't required of me. That place was a dump til I started working there. I went through and polished all the stainless steel and cleaned things that looked like they haven't been touched since the store had opened. Not to mention, before I started there, they were lucky to get more than one pizza order a week. Now it's nothing to get 8 or 9 pizza orders a night. That's because I know how to treat the customers, and there are so many of them that like me too. Anyway, I go in today and find out that I am fired. The managers weren't even there to fire me. It was another person who has only been there for a month longer than me. I'm not really even mad. I could care less that I got fired. The part that bothers me is that they couldn't even give me a call at home and tell me. They couldn't tell me in person so they had someone else to do it that really shouldn't be put in that kind of position. I have never been fired before. Kinda sucks since I know I didn't do anything to deserve it. I was even going to quit, but I at least wanted to find another job first. Other than that, I could really care less.

Sometimes I feel like there is nothing here in the world for me. My life is a hell hole where nothing seams to go my way. I feel like I have very few good things going for me. My children are adorable...I love them so much. I have an amazing partner that knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. Honestly, that is all that I can think of. It saddens me. I thought that I would have it better. Instead I have a dead end job where no one appreciates my efforts. My children no longer live with me, which tears me up inside. I feel like I have so much to offer but no one wants to take that chance with me. I am constantly having to prove myself. Just getting sick of it all. Don't want to do it anymore. Tired of trying so hard to end up on the loosing side of everything. Seams like no one cares. Maybe it's because I'm sick with the flu, but I know better. I can feel the emotions and they are hard to hold back because I am sick. Normally I walk around happily, hiding the pain of failure and disappointment inside. Uhhh...Guess that's all folks! Kinda hard to concentrait right now anyway.

There was a time in my life when I didn't believe in myself. This seams to speak the words that were impossible to say. I wish that I could've felt beautiful back then. Would've saved me so much pain.
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This is one of my brother's favorite songs. This is for him. He just graduated Basic Training last week! Way to go bro!
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Went and saw these guys at a local night club a couple of years ago!! They still rock!!! They are so loud and can still bring it!! They sound just like off the album....
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I know that it is depressing to think about. One day i will die. When that day comes...I want this to be played at my funeral. It's the only one that I've found that I like for sure.
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