Lisa's blog: "My life."

Well lets see where to start.  A few months ago I allowed my ex to come back into my life.  Things were going great.  We were "working" on things.  Then I found out he was living with his ex gf and her bf.  Her and her bf broke up so it went back to just my ex, her and her son living at the house.  When she broke up with her bf my ex decided that he didnt know what he wanted anymore.  Today he finally came clean and told me that the reason shit went downhill when her and Matt broke up was because he realized he didnt know if he wanted to be with me or her.  Then he said He was lonely thats why he wanted me back into his life. Now he is saying that he still wants to be with her but she doesnt want to be with him.  So pretty much he is wanting to keep me around incase nothing ever happens with them again.  I am so tired of being lead on and used.  I am done.  I am done with him and I am going to once again pick up the million pieces of my heart and try and move on.  I am so tired of always getting hurt.  I have never been in a relationship where the guy has been nice.  Always have been with assholes and I am tired of it.  For once in my life I want to be with someone who loves me and wants to be with ONLY me.  Will I ever find it I dont know.  I hope.  But then again I am scared to allow myself to fall for anyone again.  Tired of getting hurt.