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The Fox's blog: "Internal Chaos"

created on 10/10/2008  |  http://fubar.com/internal-chaos/b251478

POST 2

My world has gone from brilliant to crushed. My mind keeps spinning thoughts in such a rush. The happiness I thought was forever is gone. Now I am wondering what went wrong. I see my own turmoil every time I look at my eyes. And there’s no describing the pain I feel inside. A heart that had finally felt truly alive, Is now shattered and broken completely inside. It’s hard to find a solution to the thoughts in my mind, I keep wondering if it be easier if I just met my demise? The world around me is no longer bright and safe. I want nothing more than to leave this place. For me The thought of happiness has been killed. I doubt if my life is worth a one dollar bill. True love will never find its way to me. Only loneliness and pain are my destiny. Chaos has my world turned upside down. Now my smile feels like a permanent frown. I don’t feel worthy of love anymore and don’t know why. I guess the gods forgot that I too needed to feel alive. My faith in love has vanished from my soul. Without the man I love, I’ll never be whole. There is only one thought I have in my head. That is “IF I’M NOT MEANT TO BE HAPPY, THEN WHY AM I NOT DEAD?”

Post 1

Her world has turned from day to night. Eyes that were once pure turned evil out of spite. Happiness was her only goal. But now pain and chaos are all she knows. You could get rich off the tears she cries. And you could feel her pain just from looking in her eyes. Her heart that was once so loving and soft, Is now hidden beneath the scars that make it tough, Her internal pain is so extremely intense, That for her this world no longer makes sense. The sky she looks at is no longer blue. Because the world she lives in has an evil view. The air is stale and the plant life is dead. There are no more animals that hunger to be fed. No lover is ever coming to sweep her off her feet. And there is no light for guidance or any hope to give her heart ease. For her, chaos and destruction have done their part. And now they have slowly torn her apart. “The one unworthy of true love” is the role she played. And there is nothing left for her in this world today. Her heart is no more and her faith is fading fast. With no one to love her, what else in life does she have? There is only one question she has and she hides it deep. That question is “How long before I can end my misery?”
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