Ashestheyfall's blog: "Inner workings of me."

What has the world come to? How can someone sit by and allow another person who is reaching out with all they've got to kill themselves? They didn't lift a finger to help, they didn't call the police, or a hotline. They didn't try anything. I understand that it wouldn't have benefited them because the person that I am talking about is a leech to society and humanity. Life is unfair, it seems that the good ones get taken away leaving the vile unspeakable human beings to rot in their own mutilated and collective stews. I know that I should never wish someone dead to take the place of someone that passes, but in this instance I cannot bring myself to form that calloused view of wanting the living to stay that way. This woman sat by and allowed a friend to die. Someone that she professed to love she basically handed a loaded gun, helped him hold it up and pull the trigger. This woman is supposedly someone that helps people every day, saves their life when needed, but she failed to help Jesse. She ignored him when he needed her most. She left him when all he needed was to know that she cared enough to stay there and listen to him even if she didn't want to or it went against what she usually did. In that sense she killed him. She deliberately turned him away from his salvation and life. She watched (Even if not literally) as he took his own precious and much loved life. As I said I know that I shouldn't wish anyone dead, but if given the choice I would have picked her to die. I hope and pray (And I'm not even Christian so praying is a big thing) that God has mercy on her soul for what she has done. I do not know how she could POSSIBLY sleep or even live with herself knowing what she has caused. I hope that she is haunted for the rest of her days about the things she COULD have DONE to prevented the taking of a life that wasn't yet through living. I know that I'm wrong in thinking that way and I know that I should be a little more forgiving, but I can't be. Humanity is going to hell and we can't stop it, instead with people like this woman we are slowly dwindling into death.

I keep tripping through the ages, with my crooked halo. Dancing through the ages with no where to go. I'm here, my voice will not be shunned. I'm here and I don't give a damn. With my head held high, my thoughts ring out. I'm a child in this world, standing on my own. I'm a girl in this world, reaching for a hold. I'm a woman in this world, I've found my way home. We won't be held by opression. We can't change what our past has done. We aren't strong enough to figure it out all on our own. We won't be crushed by a hand that is invisible and shallow. I'm a child in this world, fearing to be alone. I'm a girl in this world, running from shadows. I'm a woman in this world, beautiful and real. There are no promises for tomorrow. Yesterday is already gone. Today is all we have. Live free, don't hold back. I'm a child in this world, looking through rose glasses. I'm a girl in this world, dreams already being shattered. I'm a woman in this world, making the best of the worst. You can't chase away shadows. You can't take away pain. You can't change the world we live in. You can't be something you aren't. I'm a child in this world, dying to be loved. I'm a girl in this world, sitting all alone. I'm a woman in this world, putting one foot in front of the other. Be the person you want to be. Stop giving a damn about what other think. Dream about the things that you want, don't let them slip away. Tomorrow may never come, live for today. I'm a child in this world, with a crooked halo. I'm a girl in this world, finding a safe place to call her own. I'm a woman in this world, that loves with everything she is. I'm me.

I don't mind if you rip the poetry from me, but I am the author of said poetry so please acknowledge me somewhere at the bottom of the posting after ripping it. That's all that I ask.

You can tell me to do what you want me to do. I will not obey. You can tell me how to live my life, but I will not comply. You can determine what my future will be, but I will surprise you. The balance of control between humans is not limited to or by any means confined to a single modular space in the brain. Not everyone has the ability to easily sit back and allow nature to be the guiding torch. Some just cannot follow the rules of physics while others shun the idea of going by what is appointed. Humans are not mechanical, they are not programmed formats that can be wiped clean or started over. The program that is started from birth is the one that will be the leading factor for the rest of their life. Be it for the greater good, or for the darkest evils. I cannot, I will not, I do not agree to be anything, but what and who I can be. I do not answer to commands or demands. I will not bend over and take it in the ass because you think I should. Authority in general leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Some perhaps older or younger are a far more wiser variety than I, but they do not hold the brain capacity in which I hold it and with that capacity I carry the weight of my own decisions and by standing products of those decisions. They do not know the inner workings of me. No one can truly say they know another person from the inside out, soul to soul. This is not mentally, scientifically, or metamorphasly able to happen. Do I believe in soul mates? Yes, they are two different souls, their auras of variential shades from another in which they will eventually combine, and blend into one big beautiful aura. Their souls are not the other half of another, but rather a piece of a puzzle that complete's them. Soul mates are typically found in those opposite of one another like light and dark. Do I believe in love at first sight, word, sound? Yes. Love can be found at the very hint of our being, it can ring true from senses into our core and rip into our hearts like a hurricane before we have enough time to say hello to the one that we know we love. There is nothing in this world more elusive or magical than love itself. So I will not be the things you want me to be. I am not the geisha doll willing to give in. I cannot and will not do as you demand, so I will submit.

I'm going on a trip, one that cleans out closets and frees up mind space. This trip won't cost me anything, and perhaps I'll gain some value in exchange. First up in the freeing of space in that closet that noone really treads near is my soul. For one penny someone can claim my soul as their own, but read the fine print, because with that soul comes opinions, and with opinions comes the mind. The only thing you will not get in this package soul deal is my heart. My heart has already been rented out to various people for various reasons and they know who they are. Each one has their own little apartment (not to be confused with compartment) and they are thriving there. The next item up for bid in this rather crowded space that I have yet to do spring cleaning in awhile is my confidence. Seeing as I have very little of this left, but it is slowly building and the interest rate I find a little high it is going to the highest bidder. Put a price on the confidence that you see fit. Now that is more than five things down that I have freed. My heart, mind, opinions, soul and confidence. I am starting to see some light in this rather dark closet after all. If you are still with me searching for items that perhaps you need and I have then you can buy my humor for a dollar, this deal comes with wit, and sarcasm so you get a really good deal and perhaps you needed to laugh a little more than I did. We are once again shredding light into the density of my person. So we have so far, soul, confidence, mind, wit, humor, opinions, and sarcasm. Wow so far quite a few things have been cleared away. Now it's time for the heavy stuff. If you are looking for baggage, which I'm sure some of you are (Seeing as an increasing amount of humans seem to think they actually have baggage) I have some for you. This includes fears, tears, anger, angst, and anything that could possibly be shoved in them. You can unload your baggage into my baggage and we will eventually have a yard sale to sale our baggage side to side. So that leaves us with friendship, love, understanding, a listening ear, and a good strong shoulder in which to cry. These are the things that I leave in my closet, for those that need them as they come. Perhaps you will be the next to needs to borrow my love, or friendship. Maybe you'll call and need me to be the foundation so you don't crumble. This all started with cleaning my closet. Poetically injust and perhaps a little weird, but I made a dollar and a penny, perhaps gained a little perspective, and found a way to unravel myself without doing bodily harm to anything. With that in retrospect I think I'm doing better than someone with a million in their pocket and noone to love or trust.

My name is Nico. I am new to the site so I figured I would write something in a blog that would portray me. I am a doll, short, and breakable if used to roughly, though I'm not made of porcelion. I like to laugh often and sometimes like it best when I'm there on the floor, the laughter so hard that it is rooted in my belly and making it hard to breathe. Belly laughter is the cure to all problems. I am a scope of color, my rainbow being my very own pallet, my skin and my future the canvas with which I give life. Each step that I take, I take it because I want to and there is always tomorrow to start over and try again. I'm not one to hold grudges, never one to get mad over the stupid things. You'll never see me cry when it comes right down to me, but I'll shed a thousand tears for a stranger. First one to say hi, and the last one to tell you a secret. I've got a ton of flaws and some issues that I can't quite control. All of this is wrapped up into skin, set upon a five foot tall woman, and absorbed by a spirit, soul and heart. Be a stranger if you dare, but friendships are always wanted.