Well lets see i had a full page here of what i think about and something about me but i wanted to start over and say something new I'm not really sure where to start here it has taken me years to get where i am now and i still have a long way to go i seem to push a lot of people away and maybe the reason for that is I'm just who i want to be yet so i push away the people i love and thats bad on my part but finding you're self is a lot harder then that I've been hurt a lot in my life even from friends well at least i was thinking they were my friends but it turned out to be years of lies and them walking all over me and a part of me blamed my self for that for letting them do it for so long i turned my back on my family for people that meant nothing to me years down there road and when you reallies that its a bit to late and you find you're self grown up and can't really fix that part of you're past that you really wish you could fix but it turns into a dead end so you just have to face the facts that its unfix able and to move on from that part of you're life that has been gone for a very long time but you look back at the things that have happened and you see good times and bad times its very hard to sit and reallies that you did a lot of things that you wish you can change and i would change a lot starting with some of the people i use to hang out with has a kid because letting others run you're life sucks letting them get away with lying about you for things you never did but for some reason they were hurting inside and needed to put all there pain on someone else it makes you think that people can't take the blame fore things they did that have have to be so sad in there life that they can't fess up to what they do even if you did so much for that person over the years raising ones child or giving money when all you wanted to say no but could never do it i think thats most of my problem having that why word in my head for so long why could people do that how can people be that heartless and i'm sure that have of the way that person treated me was my fault i should of told her when she asked me if he was a good person or better then anyone else that no one is better then anyone and lying to people and making them feel like shit does not make you a good person and it makes you far from being an angel it makes you weak and not very nice so i have learned never to live you're life by letting other people tell you want to do with it or who to be be you're self even if its not a very nice person just own up to it because that is the person that you are no matter what someone else says or tells you to be and its no good to hide it it always comes out someway or anther so like i said own up to who you are maybe you will feel better about you're self and if not change who you are for you're self and no one else i put up with a lot of peoples bullshit and I'm just glad there not in my life today to fuck it up more and if they were I'm a different person so what ever they do to me now won't work on me i live by my rules and no one else's and i feel a lot better just knowing that well lets see what else can i add as you can see i don't like bullshit much it bugs the fuck out of me and i can see bullshit in people a mile away spending you're hole life with it makes you see it a lot more as you get older and take it from me you don't want to spend you're hole life hating the ones that done you wrong in the past it brings you down and truth be told they won't change much but that don't mean you can't because thats something you have to want to do and some people don't like change but change is a good thing be leave me you will thank you're self even if you don't think it will help it will so thats enough about that well thats me so far well at least a little bit about me anyways I'm sure i will write more as the time goes on

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