I was sitting one night at the dinner table,
But something just didn’t seem right,
Ahhh, I must need me some spices,
To add to my potatoes ever so white,
I looked at my friend beside me,
And said “Can u hand me some pepper Jack?”
He passed it right on over,
I sprinkled a little on and handed it back,
I took me a big old heaping in my mouth,
And boy was they so yum,
But then I realized I had me no milk,
Gosh sometimes I’m dumb,
I got up with udder disappointment,
To find we had none insight,
The dang cheesy Swiss girl next door,
Had drank it all last night,
It was only six curdy in the afternoon,
So I still had time to pick some up,
Ahead I thought I saw me the moon
I figured I cheddar get moving fast,
Without my milk I feared Id have me,
A night of heart burn and lots of gas,
So I got right to mooooving,
But on my way over to the store,
My worst fear had been proven,
The woman I slept with 9 mths ago,
Was standing if front of me,
But yet she was barely movin,
She looked like she was bouts to blow,
Omg she was big as an elephant,
Told me I needed to take some Lamozzerella classes,
Cause she was pregnant,
I thought to myself as soon as she said it
Ricotta get myself out of this mess,
I can’t handle raising this ladies kid,
She would cause me nothing but stress,
As she moaned and she groaned,
Quickly appeared,
A black little baby,
I thought boy that was weird,
Could that baby come from someone as pale as me?
So I looked at her,
And said how could that be,
But she just stared back didn’t say a word,
Then I figured it out all on my own,
Since I’m the shit of course he’d be a brown little turd.
