I'm Not Drunk!!!
I had eighteen bottels of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else.
After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I then withdrew the cork for the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of and threw the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in the one bottle, which I drank.
I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and drunker I stand here, the longer I get. I'm not drunk you shilly sit!!!
