My dreams r far 2real 4me. I'm not talkin Freddy nitemares. I'm referrin 2dreams that mimic real life so closely, its hard 2tell whether ur asleep or awake. Not necessarily dreamin of actual past events, but... I think u understand what I mean.
Er nite 4da past wk, Iv dreamed I was pregnant. Not that these were bad dreams in n of themselves but bein 35 n childless, rememberin these dreams leaves me feelin kinda lost 4a while after wakin.
Last nite was da worst, by far..
Pregnant; da father: my ex, a boyfriend of 3.5yrs, Kenneth. I was so excited bout da beautiful snow that blanketed da scenery. Kenneth was heading out n warned me 2stay in. He had 2go somewhere 4a lil while ( I can't recall where) & he just wanted 2make sure da baby n I would be safe. (From da looks of my belly, I was a good way in2 da 3rd trimester) Of course, after he had left, it wasn't long b4 I was outside 4a lil walk in da yard. I mean, I wasn't gonna go outside da yard, what could possibly happen?? I slipped. I fell hard. On my belly. I struggled 2get myself up thinkin I needed 2get my ass inside n changed b4 Kenneth came home n saw I had blatantlty disregarded his request. I felt a warm wetness in growin in da critch of my pants n I thought 2myself: Damn, I peed myself. I touched da wetspot almost thoughtlessly but when I saw my fingers were red, my horror began. Da cramping was horrible.
Next I recall bein in da hospital, cryin- wailin, actually. My baby! My baby! Oh God! Da doctor said: I'm so sorry. I screamed.
That's when I woke up. Tears flowin. Pain in my abdomen. An overwhelming despair filled me. Now, 10hrs l8r, I still have pain in my abdomen n I can't pull myself out of this depression. I don't wanna go 2sleep 2nite. I couldn't bear anotha dream like this. I just couldn't.
