i'm tired of being told that i'm loved and then turn around and find out that there are other girls. i'm tired of being led to think one thing and digging up something else. i'm tired of being lied to, i'm tired of my fucked up emotions. i'm tired of thinkin there's a future with someone and then havin it shoved bak into my face. i'm tired of being the one guys go to for sex but cant have REAL feelings for...i'm just tired of everything. i'm tired of pretending to be happy when all i wanna do is die.
i dont want emotions anymore, i dont want to be the "other woman" you have to hide, i dont wanna build up a future with you by my side and then realize it would never happen...i dont want to hurt anymore, i dont wanna feel anything. i dont wanna be told that i'm pathetic or sad or stupid or a whore cuz i already know that and i've already had it all thrown in my face before, thank you. i dont wanna have to second guess everything i hear anymore (i hate chris for making me that way) or worry that i'll have to be perfect in everyway to make someone happy.
i'm so fuckin tired of life and love...hannah's right...after the past two days, i'm taking a break from men. i hate how i feel like i have to pleasure them to make them stay, like i have to say wat they wanna hear to make them happy, like i have to be the romantic one to get any romance back...
i'm tired of crying late at night over everything. my heart is now on ice and no one can chip it away. no one but a few can get by (and like one of them is on here, the others not) the walls i'm puttin around myself. i give up so much for my relationships online to be successful and i give up my social life to come home and chat wit you. i'm tired of waiting and worryin and hopin and knowing i can NEVER be put first even tho my friends on here are ALWAYS put first in my life. but no more, now my friends will come first, before ANY of you.
i'm not to be used anymore and to the idiots who think sex is the ultimate form of love, it ISNT. sex is a plus but it's not necesary and most of wat you feel is LUST, not LOVE. STOP FUCKIN MIXING THEM UP!!!!!
yes, i'm bitter.
