When He/She says I don’t want to hurt you .. What they're really saying is .. Just to give you some forewarning, I’ll never really mean to hurt you, but I will anyway and won’t take any responsibility for it .. I don’t connect my actions with the impact on you or the relationship, because I tend to only really think about myself and I’m a short-term thinker .. I think about what I can get now without real thought for the consequences :-)