Evil Angel's blog: "I am~~"

YOUR NOT A LITTLE BOY ANYMORE...I CAN'T KISS YOU AND HOLD YOU AND YOUR PAIN AND HURT GO AWAY...IT KILLS ME INSIDE TO KNOW YOUR HURTING TO KNOW YOUR IN PAIN AND BE HELPLESS..I CAN ONLY LISTEN AND GIVE YOU MY ADVICE..AND HOPE THAT YOU WILL LEARN FROM LIFES TRIALS..AND MISTAKES..REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL SOUL..AND LOVE COMES FROM WITHIN...HAPPINESS IS INSIDE OF YOU..IT DOESN'T COME FROM SOMEONE ELSE..YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE TO VALIDATE YOUR SELF WORTH..YOU MY SON ARE AMAZING IN YOUR OWN RIGHT.. HANDSOME,SMART,FUNNY,STRONG,LOYAL,SELFLESS,WONDERFUL YOUNG MAN. ONE DAY MY SON I WON'T BE HERE TO LISTEN OR TO FEEL YOUR HEART WITHOUT YOU SAYING A WORD...ALL I CAN HOPE FOR IS YOU REALIZE LIFE IS LOVE AND LOVE IS LIFE...LIVE YOUR LIFE MY SON WITH LOVE IN YOUR HEART ALWAYS! SMILE OFTEN.. LAUGH HARD.. DANCE IN THE RAIN.. CRY WHEN IT HURTS..MAKE MANY FRIENDS..JUDGE NO ONE..WORK HARD..STAY LOYAL..RESPECT EVERY PART OF THIS LIFE YOU LIVE..FROM THE GROUND YOU WALK ON TO THE SKY FULL OF STARS AND EVERY LIVING THING IN BETWEEN...THAT IS WHERE LIFE AND LOVE ARE MY SON...THEY ARE ALL AROUND YOU..EVERY DAY.I LOVE YOU

http://www.metalunderground.com/interviews/details.cfm?newsid=24347 Read down where he asks the funniest thing thats ever happened to you while on stage...umm yea that would be me hes talkin about..too fukkin funnyyyyy!!!!

http://www.metalunderground.com/interviews/details.cfm?newsid=24347 Read down where he asks the funniest thing thats ever happened to you while on stage...umm yea that would be me hes talkin about..too fukkin funnyyyyy!!!!

I want my baby...not real sure where he is...but I know hes out there somewhere... Baby~ Would you bring me dasies just cuz Be my one and only luv Would you leave me notes with little hearts Show your love even when were apart Would you hold my hand and walk with me Touch my soul and and feel me breathe Would you tell me dreams of you and I Hold my heart and help me fly Would you love me for the real inside Except the pain I cannot hide Would you lift me up when life is down Be my strength my level ground Would you sing me a song without a rhyme Will your love conquer the test of time Ahhh silly words...but, would you??

And out of nowhere..a song sings in the middle of the night..and I remember ..your smile..your kiss..your touch..so much time has past...sooo much time..and the tears still fall..my heart still crumbles..how could you steal my heart and walk away..break through every wall..and leave me standing..alone..your love like none I've ever known..beautifull and warm..strong and soft..you broke thru me effortlessly..filled my heart with so much happiness...my soul with peace..my world with laughter..you ..showed me what being in love really is..love..the memories like yesterday... a I thought I had let you go...and...out of nowhere..a song sings in the middle of the night...the tears fall so effortlessly..still....

This was from my friend Sky..he is one of the most beautifull souls I have ever met. It touched me so much that I wanted to share it with everyone... "You will always have a place in my heart Julie and im glad that we met and crossed on the right path's of life .... if you need somebody to listen i'll be there .... if you need someone to put a smile on your face i will be there ... if you need a hug or some comfort i will be there .... if you need a shoulder to cry on .. my shoulder will be there for you always ..... to show feeling means you have a heart and soul and i am happy to have you as a firend Julie *hugs/kisses* ;))"

Today the Chicago Bears win a spot in the superbowl!! I can see his smile...the excitement in his eyes..from his hospital bed..watching the screen flashing frantic fans and a field in disaray..hes yelling..the nurses are angry..trying to warn him..he needs to keep calm you see...because soon he is dying..the doctor gave him 6 months..or so he told my mother..he didn't know..he was a strong man..full of wisdom and pride..a tall stance and and a long stride...we refused to take the last months of that from him..the news would have detroyed his dignity..rather..we helped him thru his pain..until the sad reality was to clear and imobile to him..and still through his sorrow and devistating pain..he remained strong and never lost his pride..even when the good old welfare system stamped that big NO on his request for help...he kept his head held high..and in a stern angry grumble..refused to surrender the home he had struggled to mantain for his family of 9..too many 14 hr days..so many cracks in the walls..and pipes that needed fixing..stairs missing pieces..and windows without screens..the beautifull precious memories were far too important to "his family" to ever let them take it away..the anger built and the breathing stopped..once again..sending him with flashing lights back to those cold white walls and digital monitors..his eyes wide with fear..gasping for breath...the nurse comes to ask if one of us could please come and try to calm him..the eyes look to me..his little girl..his pride and joy..his one girl of so many boys..tears streaming down ..i shake my head no..I can't imagine my state helping him..the nurse grabs my shoulders and looks in my eyes ..in my heart..and says quickly he needs your strength..be your fathers daughter..you can do this..he needs you..now...i walk in the room..the tears filling his eyes..he reaches out for my hand..i hold his hand and fight back my tears..and whisper..dad..Im not ready to let you go..please dont give up..thru the rush of tears he struggles between breathes..I can't do it Julie..I can't breathe..baby Im sorry I cant..I had never seen him quit..he has always been my rock..YOU TAUGHT ME NEVER TO QUIT!! YOU TAUGHT ME ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!! YOU TAUGHT ME TO FIGHT!!...yelling thru my tears ..looking in his wide terror filled eyes...BREATHE...YOU CAN DO THIS!! BREATHE.okay.calm down now..we can do this together..lets breathe together..the nurse touches my shoulder softly and says..his heart rate is dropping and smiles softly..I did it..we did it ..I say to him with a smile thru my tears..later that week..the 1985 Chicago Bears won a spot in the super bowl..he was able to relish in this beautifull historic moment..his room filled with banners and flags...blankets and pictures..his bears hat in hand and proudly wearing his walter payton jersey..My father sand the super bowl shuffle in his hospital bed..and told the nurses to piss off!! IM DYING...HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED THAT OUT YET? I REALIZE IT TOOK MY DUMB ASS A WHILE TO GET IT THRU MY THICK SKULL..BUT HELL YOU BROADS WORK IN THIS JOYNT AND I'VE SEEN YOU MORE THAN MY OWN HOME IN THE LAST MONTH..SO PLEASE LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE WHILE I SALUTE MY CHICAGO BEARS...CUZ LADIES WERE GOIN TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!! I realize this was long..and probably drawn out..but, I haven't written about the most wonderfull man in my world in quite sum time..and there is so much to tell..so much to remember..so many bitter sweet moments in my life remind me of my amazing father..he was a damn good man..I owe everything I am today to him..good and bad..like he always said..I aint no one special..Im just an regular workin Joe..n ya know..Im okay with that..I aint here to impress no one..hell lots wont like me ..Im sure..but fuck em..cuz the ones that love me could probably kick there asses anyways...lol Did I mention my father was a philosopher?? LOL I LOVE YOU DAD!!!! GOOOOO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!

> What I want no, what I must know is why friends, people have to give you or others so much static about talking to other people, expanding your mind to other views. > I'm not one who is content with following in line with the rest of the sheep and believing everything the media tells me of what I should do in my life and how I should feel about others. I have a very diverse set of friends from all backgrounds, but I feel because I'm proud of my Race i'm being told I can't because it may cause too much drama and be so wrong because I'm White and Proud of that fact. I'm not trying to cram my thinking down others throats but I am sick to death of me being told I have to feel this way or that about someone else's feelings. > > Why shouldn't I be offened as a white woman by statements such as this: > Kill Kill Kill the white man

Add to My Profile | More Videos > > > > > > > > Why should I be hated for being white and being proud of my race? My response: The people that should be exterminated are the people with views like that..regardless of there race..as you and I have discussed..I think peole as a whole are shit..most are self serving, inconciderate, disrespectfull pieces of shit..hmmm..does that make me a multi-racisist? Cuz in my opinion there is trash in every race. There is a huge difference between being proud of your race and hating any other race outside your own based meerly on there blood line and or skin color.. I am white, I am American ..and I am proud..proud of my ancestry both my fathers German roots and my mothers Russian Jewish roots..proud that I have a beautifull son that is half Puerto Rican..and yet..my roots..my blood..isn't white enough for some. Oh fukkin well...I don't believe in religion of any kind..I do believe there is a higher power than any one of us..weather or not he/she is "GOD"..I am not convinced..I believe faith should be spiritual..it comes from inside..not from one of many different books..those are ones opinions written on paper..there is no clear evidence that any of the many events even occured..how can anyone believe in what they cannot see?? Many say you will go to heaven or hell when you pass..look around people..we are already there..hahaha..and you think your views are radical or will produce forms of hate..lol..every one of us has a right to our own opinions/views..to hate anyone based on that is ridiculous..to hurt and or kill someone because of it..should be punishable by death..in large quick numbers..but, hey..these are just my opinions...hate me if you choose..but, you may have to stand in line :-) PEACE OUT

Just got in from seeing the Deftones..and I gotta tell ya..they kicked sum major ass! The energy in the room was insane! One of the best concerts I've been to all year. And now I'm gonna take my ass to sleep...so I can be at work in 4.5 hrs...ehhh I only work like 3 hrs..n case yer wondering...hell yea it was worth it! Sleep well everyone!:-)

Not that annyones actually gonna read this or give a shit...but Im fukkin excited...3 concerts in 3 weeks...Sepultura...Deftones and Disturbed...did I mention..Im excited!!! WOOMUTHERFUKKINWOOOO!!!!!!