oldermaster4u's blog: "humor of the day"

I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their blogs.Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read. After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes: People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season . LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her. "Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church." The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?" The old lady said, "$10,000 a week." The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?" "He is a veterinarian," she answered. "That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?" The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

---------------Girls---------------------------- ------- -----are like apples------------------- --------on trees. The best ones----------- ------are at the top of the tree.-------- ----The boys don't want to reach------ ---for the good ones because they ------ -are afraid of falling and getting hurt.---- Instead, they just get the rotten apples- ---from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think -something is wrong with them, when in --reality, they're amazing. They just ---have to wait for the right boy to------- ----- come along, the one who's----------- ----------- brave enough to----------------- -----------------climb all---------------------- ----------------- the way--------------------- -----------------to the top-------------------- ---------------- of the tree.------------------

Two fellows from Alabama were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby,would that make us kin?" The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even."

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine" GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome. WHATEVER It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!