I closed down my Xanga account, so here is some of my blogs (in some cases only part of them). Some of the blogs are also posted on Myspace, but not all.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
The Freshman "15" and Other Myths
Since your first week in a new place can be scary, it’s important to separate the fact from the fiction. So I’ve cobbled together some undisputable scientific tidbits that should keep you feeling cool, calm and collected during the seven days that will make or break your college career. If you’re not ready for the truth, stop reading now - because there’s no turning back. Remember, poking a hole in a myth is a lot like poking a hole in a condom – do it and people will respect you.
First off, you will become more popular the more groups you create on Facebook. The guy who created the “People Who Say Soda Not Pop” group drives an Escalade. In the dining hall, people address him as Sir, not “Finklestein,” not “Adam.”
Secondly, it’s OK to sleep with everybody in your hallway. In terms of icebreakers, nothing beats syphilis. Think of STDs like Boy Scout badges. The more you collect, the more sex you will have. This is college. Abortions are a dime a dozen, and who doesn’t have a $1.20? When Sorority Rush comes around, you’ll thank me when they look for girls with “life experience” and children.
Thirdly, in college, nobody is gay except you. A liberal arts campus may seem accepting. But trust me, you’re the only one. Those music theater kids are just trying to trick you. You’ve kept it inside this long, you can wait until the divorce.
Fourthly, treat your roommate like the twin sibling you never had. Freshmen year and day one of prison are the only times in life when you won’t get to choose your bunkmate. And in prison, people masturbate less. Finish each other’s sentences. Eat together. But back off when you steal a paperclip and wake up next to a bloody squirrel with a note in its mouth that reads: “I trusted you.” (You know who you are.)
Finally, there is no such thing as the “Freshman 15.” You will gain at least 30 to 40 pounds during your first semester of binge drinking, pizza eating and baby making. By January your only true friends will be Sam Adams and the Keebler Elf – who’s faking it out of pity. My advice: Start smoking now to build up a nicotine tolerance. OK, just kidding. Smoking won’t make you thin. That’s a myth.
By Dave Holstein on CollegeHumor
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1705496
Friday, June 16, 2006
EW...boys
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think, "it will get better.” You'll be mad at yourself a year later. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. If something bothers you, speak up. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. You should not be the one doing all the bending, compromise is a two way street.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Every guy should do these:
Smell her hair. Pick her up & pretend you're going to throw her in the pool...she'll scream & fight you but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Just hold her hand. Tell her she looks pretty. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even if she says stop. Slow dance with her. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her. Let her tease you back. Stay up with her when she’s sick. Kiss her forehead. Let her wear your clothes. Go slow. Don’t push anything. Kiss her in the rain. & when you fall in love with her, tell her.
Friday, April 22, 2005
"Being Drunk's A Lot Like Lovin' You" (courtesy of Tonya)
I drank till I stumbled, I drank till I fell, when the drunk part was over it hurt me like hell. Now I know about drinking so I know one thing's true, being drunk's a lot like loving you. Cause I loved till I stumbled, I loved till I fell, when the lovin' part was over it hurt me like hell. I know what a taste of the wrong love can do, being drunk's a lot like loving you. And I've woke up some mornings and sworn off the drink at that I've done reasonably well I think. But I haven't done well at swearin' off you and me, at that I've failed miserably... Well I know what a taste of the wrong love can do sometimes I still get drunk lovin' you.
(Mean boys suck. ew.)
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
A millions words would not bring you back, I know because I tried.
Neither would a million tears I know because I cried.
Too Bad you weren't there for all is said and done.
Too Bad you hadn't come, for we are now done.
Our love wasn't strong enough for you to keep and hold,
But for you, TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T BOLD!
No Date Really, Just Thoughts
~Who do you turn to when the only person who can stop your crying is the one who made you cry?
~I wanted a guy that was nice and in touch with his feelings, but then I realized they all have boyfriends already.
~You know you're in love when you see that someone and your heart flutters, you're stomach gets butterflies, and the rest of the world disappears.
What Made You Go Away
I thought about you everyday, I waited for your call. You said you loved me once or twice and would never let me fall. I felt like I was loosing you but didn't really know, and as nights went on I wondered how I could ever let you go. One day I went to call for you and to my surprise, I found you with another girl and teardrops filled my eyes. Maybe I did something wrong or maybe it was you, but at that time I realized there was nothing I could do. A year later I still think about you almost everyday, and wonder what it really was, that made you go away.
