The BlueDragon's blog: "how to understand my lingo"

Just saying, but if you are with someone for over a year, and you're constantly telling them that they are not the one you want to live your whole life with, that they are just not what you want, then do NOT get pissed off after you leave them and they find someone else.

Case in point: I lived with a guy from june 2011 till july 2012. He and I were lovers, and roommates. but we weren't bf/gf (his choice). we did EVERYTHING together. shopped, played, traveled, hung out, ate, slept, everything you do with a significant other, but without the label. He always told me he couldn't imagine being with me forever, he wanted something else, that I wasn't the one for him, that I just wasn't his type, I needed to go find someone... blah blah blah. meanwhile, I'm trying to convince him he's wrong. Finally, I help him find a place closer to his kids, and help him move. He seems to be happy with this decision. then he gets all lonely cause he lives alone, and starts telling me how he might have made a huge mistake. I move to florida, and he gets pissed. I talk to him many times a week, because we try to remain friends. I move on. I make new friends, I start dating, he gets mad and depressed. Finally admits to me that he is jealous, and that he hates that I didn't move with him to kentucky (which was not an option to me before, cause he wanted to be with his kids and he wanted to be single... blah blah), that he misses me so much.. I told him back in November that I no longer wanted him, that I gave up. He starts getting clingy. he starts calling every day. I finally convince him to get on POF to find someone, he starts telling me about meeting up with women, and screwing them. I tell him way to go! that's not how he's going to find a wife, but hey, if all he wants is a warm wet hole, more power to him. I tell him about a guy I met up with. I didn't sleep with him. Ex friend gets mad that I didn't sleep with the guy, cause apparently I'm supposed to be as desperate as he is. The guy i meet and I are getting along fabulously, and when the friend wants to know how everything is going, i tell him, he gets very quiet, then hangs up on me,. won't give me straight answers on what's wrong through texts, then calls with some BS question about how to cook a frozen lasagna, ends up berating me for getting along with someone new. so I hang up. He finally sends me a text saying he knows what his problem is, and that he doesn't want to talk to me about it, but I can't telk to him about anyone I date any more. which I'm fine wth, but I'm pretty sure I just don't want to be friends with him anymore. I mean, really... how much is one "friend" supposed to take?

I can't figure it out. I'm not quite sure what the hell to think. Here's my dilemma:

There are women out there who look like absolute slop. Not only that, they treat their men like slaves, ie: force them to work two jobs so they can stay at home and spend money, don't clean, don't cook, never make love, and call them horrible names. But their men are the most devoted, kind, loyal, caring men on the planet.

Now me, I'm the kind of woman who likes to work for a living, loves to take care of people, share everything I have, loyal to a fault, putting my needs dead last (literally), bend over backwards to make everyone else happy kind of person, yet the guys I fall for just so happen to only want me as a friend. At most, a fuck buddy.

Now, I refuse to change who I am. And I refuse to accept a man who is going to treat me like crap. I would love to find just one man who is going to be not only my best friend, but be with me and ONLY me for the rest of our lives. I didn't realize that would be too much to ask, but apparently for this generation, it is.

Maybe I should change, since there really is noone out there? lower my expectations? allow myself to become a doormat/punching bag? or just become a complete Bitch? I don't know.... but this isn't working.

Noone is going to read this anyway, since it's like pulling teeth to freaking get people to read my about me, but i figured i'd put it up just in case there are those people out there who like to read.

I'm not a total bitch. I try not to be anyway. I don't put everyone in the same mold. But there is only so much I can look beyond the same behaviors before I finally just chalk most of the men on here up to being pretty much the same. All I ask for is that when you first talk to me, do NOT set in with the sex talk. ESPECIALLY if you're fugly, and you know if you're fugly, so don't deny it.

Yep, my tits are huge. And Yes, I take some pretty damned awesome pictures. I wouldn't post them if I looks hideous in them. Who would? No, I'm not going to cam with you the first time I talk with you. You'll be hella lucky if I ever do. Cause guess what? I don't look like my pictures all the time, and I want you to keep the delusion that I'm HOT. That and the overwhelmingly vast number of you males who have decided that if a girl is on cam, they have to get naked. And your encouragement will make it happen. If you're not my significant other (and trust me, you won't be) you're not going ot see any naked parts of my body that I can't show in public without getting arrested. It just won't happen. Because I have this amazing quality. it's called Self-respect. It's exceedingly rare on this site, I know, because there are so many people desperate for attention and fake popularity that they give up theirs, but oh well. Here's your road block for that. Get used to it, Get over it, or GTF Off my page. I'm not compromising my morals for anyone.

That being said, I'll talk to pretty much anyone. I like making friends. I'm friendly and very nice. Ask those who have stuck around and gotten to know me. If you just want someone who's going to help you in the game, sure, fine, no big deal, I'll help where and when I can.