As most of you already know, our wedding date was set for 4-7-07. I say WAS because we have post-poned it. There's nothing wrong with our relationship or anything like that. We are doing fine. It just came up on us so much quicker than we expected and we aren't even close to being ready. Plus, we've decided to save up some more money, since we aren't receiving any financial help from family. I guess it just seemed too soon as the date became nearer.
Is it just us, or do other people experience the same thing? I know weddings are typically supposed to be this huge occassion where everyone gets dressed up, goes to some boring ceremony, then some formal "party" afterward. We dont want all that. Maybe that's why it seems so uneventful. We are both very casual peple and we just want to have a fun wedding, share a few vows and hang out with the people we care about. But, why doesn't this feel like 'enough' for me? I suppose I always had the same chidhood dream of a fairy tale wedding. The beautiful dress, my handsome prince with his eyes wide and misty as he saw me for the first time walking down the isle. I'm not saying those things cant or wont happen, but for some reason I have this unfulfilled part of me that wants something more, but I cant put my finger on it.
I figure once you're married, there are very few benefits other than the ceremony. Dont get me wrong, marriage is a beginning, a trust, an understanding, a compromise and a promise to respect the other person. I get that part. But, honestly, the only real benefits are the tax break, the shared health and dental insurance and any Social Security benefits if your spouse should die before you...which would really suck. For some people who have waited until marriage to have sex, this would be an awesome benefit. The only problem is, will he be able to perform? Will she be a prude? Will they like the same things sexually? Have they built intimacy? So many dilemmas either way.
So, how do you know when you're really ready? I mean the whole way! Emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually, financially, etc.? Do you give up your idea of a dream wedding just to get it over with? Why do some people rush right in and last forever and some wait until it seems like the right time, but end up divorced and unhappy? Am I nuts? Do I have cold feet? Is there something in my past that I need resolved before I can actually take that walk down the aisle? Or am I going through the same thoughts and emotions as any other nervous bride-to-be?
