How did I handle the fact of having a bisexual wife?
First of all please forgive my grammar; I grew up Mexico City and Los Angeles, so my influence is very Hispanic.
I'm writing these because a lot of You have asked Me how can I live a life like the one I live? if I get jealous? If I share? and tons of more questions, well here it is….And Please don't forget this is writen base in my life and what I have experienced and in no moment is intented as a guide of acceptance.
I'm also writing this to all husbands of bisexual women because there was a moment in my life that I need it help and couldn't find any, I was mad, psyched and angry to the world, and nobody was there for Me except the only true friend I ever have, my bisexual wife, so here it is, maybe is not a great thing to do but I hope someone can get something out of it.
As many of you know I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world, like I enjoy to always say "She is the best part of Me" and she truly is, we have a wonderful and very supportive daughter who has been with us on these...don't know how to call this so I will call it "phases". We have our ups and downs as any normal couple should.
Well what really make us different from other people is the fact that my wife is bisexual and I'm aware of it, we have been married for 18 years and until 8 years ago everything was "normal" I would say, we have had a very steady way of living and enjoy ourselves as family.
I divided these on 5 phases due to the different subjects.
Phase1. KNOWING THE FACTS
First let's define something, there are four different types of girls that fall on this areas, out of these groups there are different types of girls and I won't get into detail on these because I don't want to write a book about it:
1. Straights: Girls that date only males
2. Lesbians: Girls that date only females.
3. Bisexuals: Girls that date male and female.
4. Bi curious: Someone on experimental phase, trying to define if either is bisexual or not.
Well my reference on this is towards bisexual and bi curious girls because is what in my case has happened.
As the relationship grows we get to know some facts that are disturbing our days, we have questions and the first ones that comes to mind in everyone is How? When? And the ugliest one of all Why?
HOW?
How does this happen? Well I think is a adjustment on the life of these persons, once they have experimented all what they are supposed to try on a straight relationship, but then still they have feelings for something different, well the next level would be something totally out of the ordinary and some of you said look for that on other areas of the sexual venues, some mention fetishes and bondage, other group sex, but still the craving is there……
WHEN?
Most likely it was set by us males and don't know it, we males have fetishes and dream of a fantasy situation by having two or more women at once, we set the mood for this to happen either by talking our female partner into it, taking them to places where the can start appreciating female beauty as a male does, bringing home information of sexual content with lesbian reference, either film or literature.
I have talked to some of the bisexual ladies that I know and the most average reasoning of when did the attraction started is said to be after the group sex session, or because we as males induce the liking of the same sex into their heads.
As we realize that our girl is getting used to the idea, the more aroused get by the fact of the great dream getting closer and our fantasy will become reality. I will have two or more ladies at once, never imaging what is expecting you around the corner.
WHY?
The reason of why some doctors and people that understand of these situations think like these, some say is caused, some say is genes, some say is choice, well I like to think is nature.
Women are as delicate as flowers and as one they need tenderness.
Sometimes us as men don't have the softness and soft touch that a girl could give, and a girl always like to feel some care from the other half, I won't say some men aren't sensitive enough but, is very hard to accomplish it, specially if we were have grown on a manly society were the man gets what he wants, even if the girl is not completely satisfied and I'm not referring in a sexual way only but in all aspects of a relationship, well this is why I said nature is the cause, naturally a girl is going to look for that satisfaction and most likely will find it with a friend or in some cases with the person that will listen to their needs.
At certain moment in life we will encountered a very satisfying reason to have a girl confronting another, and we as males think that we are the luckiest on earth because you have the opportunity of being part of this sexual experience, I'm referring to a threesome or group sex, and all proud and joyful stand defining I did them at the same time, when actually is totally contrary because what we are doing is opening the door to a experimental phase, which more likely will lead to a define bisexual or lesbian turn around later on in life.
In some particular cases the reason is because they just want to experiment, this doesn't mean that a girl is bisexual for the simple fact of feeling attraction for the same sex, they just simply want to know what is like to be with a girl at least once, more likely that girl will never do it again, if she actually like what she found will turn bisexual immediately or will deny it until her straight relationship is solid enough to explore the subject again.
Will continue............
