HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim. I went to the gun shop for more ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls --they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.
I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell with all the blood.
P.S. - I locked all four of them in the house. Better wait outside
