Love XxONE NATIONxX's blog: "hmmm"

There comes a moment in time when the world seems to stop. We really don't understand why that is, yet we feel it is something we have done or said.  Is it really wrong not to try to find out the reason? I spend a lot of time thinking of my life where it started, where it lead me and where will it end? Looking back I have seen, felt and understood heartache. More then anyone person should have to withstand. However, I wouldn't trade any of my life's lessons for anything in the world.  I strive to make it through each and every lesson and pray to understand each one at the end of class. Knowing that I have many lessons to go I wonder if I will ever reach the goal of achieving the knowledge that I have written for myself. With each heartache, lonely night, struggle and wisdom I receive I only dream of an understanding at the end of each. For if there is no understanding, then there is no reason. And if no reason, there wouldn't be an understanding. Confused yet? Yeah, Me too. Life is complicated like that. For no challenge comes easily. For if it did, it wouldn't be a challenge, now would it? 

Today is one I will treasure most. Why today? Because, it is the start of a day to try to make a difference to never look back. In the process be strong enough to move forward. Erasing the past is to say one never existed. To change the past, is to say your lesson was too hard. To embrace your past, is to say you have grown.

I sometimes try to hard to make sense of it all. It leads me to despair when I can't figure it out. Like now, I know what I want to write. The words are right behind my eyes. Yet, I can't seem to find them. The point, the meaning, I don't understand any of it. It has been so long since I last wrote. I have so many thoughts and ideas screaming to come out. But I can't seem to find the words. I can not seem to get them out. I speak and only a ramble I hear.  I have no direction no plan to follow. I only know I have lots to give lots to say and I only need be patience and it will come to me.

With that said I should stop for now as I am making no sense at all.