Irish Princess's blog: "Here I am"

There are just too many Times that people Have tried to look inside of me Wondering what I think of you And I protect you out of courtesy Too many times that I've Held on when I needed to push away Afraid to say what was on my mind Afraid to say what I need to say Too many Things that you've said about me When I'm not around You think having the upper hand Means you've got to keep putting me down But I've had too many stand-offs with you It's just about as much as I can stand Just wait until the upper hand Is mine So many people like me Put so much trust in all your lies So concerned with what you think To just say what we feel inside So many people like me Walk on eggshells all day long All I know is that all I want Is to feel like I'm not stepped on There are so many things you say That make me feel like you've crossed the line What goes up will surely fall And I'm counting down the time 'Cause I've had so many stand-offs with you It's about as much as I can stand So I'm waiting until the upper hand Is mine One minute you're on top The next you're not Watch it drop Making your heart stop Just before you hit the floor One minute you're on top The next you're not Missed your shot Making your heart stop You think you won. And then it's all gone I know I'll never trust a single thing you say You knew your lies would divide us But you lied anyway And all the lies have got you floating Up above us all But what goes up has got to fall

When I pretend Everything is what I want it to be I look exactly like what you had always Wanted to see When I pretend I can forget about the criminal I am Stealing second after second just 'cause I know I can But I can't pretend this is the way It will stay I'm just trying to bend the truth I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be So I'm Lying my way from you No turning back now I wanna be pushed aside So let me go Let me take back my life I'd rather be all alone Anywhere on my own Because I can see The very worst part of you Is me I remember what they taught to me Remember condescending talk Of who I ought to be Remember listening to all of that And this again So I pretended up a person who was fitting in And now you think this person Really is me and I'm Trying to bend the truth But the more I push The more I'm pulling away Because I'm Lying my way from you This isn't what I wanted to be I never thought that what I said Would have you running from you Like this The very worst part of you Is me