Lady Victoria Eclectic Pagan's blog: "Helping Others"

Depending on what stage we are in our lives, we can sometimes feel like we ought to know more about who we are or how to live. We may even berate ourselves for making the same mistakes, or for just not "getting it," whatever "it" may be. We wonder how our lives would be now, if only we had “known better.” During moments like these, it is important to remember that none of us are born with instruction manuals and that learning lessons is a lifelong journey. Inherent to our being born is that we are here to observe, learn, and grow. Accompanying this is a built-in guarantee that there will be mistakes and misadventures along the way. And while it is only natural that we may sometimes become overwhelmed, especially when the lessons keep coming, it is important to remember that learning to understand yourself and your world is an ongoing and active process where the journey is more important than the destination. Every lesson is intended so you can become more of who you are. And as you grow through this self-discovery, you begin to create your own instruction manual. The "how’s" and "why’s" are yours to discover, and part of the beauty of being alive is that these rules are always changing. If you feel that you would like to explore what your personal instruction manual may already say, then try writing down in order some of the significant events that have happened to you. It’s also important to take note of what you learned from each one. When you are done, you may be surprised to discover how much you are always growing, and that every lesson learned always informs the next. That being said, there is never any need to be hard on yourself or think that you should have it all figured out. We always know as much as we’re meant to know at that moment, and growing into our fullness is a process that unfolds in divine timing. You and your life are beautiful works in progress. Discover yourself and embrace your life’s lessons, and your instruction manual will create itself.

Let It Roll Off Our Back One of the most difficult challenges in life is learning not to take things to heart and hold on to it. Especially when we’re younger, or if we’re very sensitive, we take so much of what comes our way to heart. This can be overwhelming and unproductive if it throws us off balance on a regular basis. When we are feeling criticized or attacked from all directions, it becomes very difficult for us to recover ourselves so that we can continue to speak and act our truth. This is when we would do well to remember the old saying about letting certain things roll off us, like water off a duck’s back. Most of the time, the attacks and criticisms of others have much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us. If we get caught up in trying to adjust ourselves to other people’s negative energy, we lose touch with our core. In fact, in a positive light, these slings and arrows offer us the opportunity to strengthen our core sense of self, and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. The more we do this, the more we are able to discern what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. With practice, we become masters of our energetic integrity, refusing to serve as targets for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around us. Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us. First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognizing when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world.
Ducks don't get wet, so shake your tail feathers and let the drops fall where they may...

Our Relationship Choices Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship. We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships — we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships. Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

No matter how deep or loving our relationships, occasional conflict is unavoidable. But how fairly do you fight? Take this quiz to see if you or your loved ones hit below the belt in an argument, or if you know the rules of healthy conflict resolution, here: Answer the following questions TRUE or FALSE: 1. I try to echo back what my partner is saying. That doesn’t mean I have to agree with it. 2. We often bring up the past when we argue. 3. I try my best to speak from my very deepest truth when I argue, even if that reveals how scared or vulnerable I am. 4. It is not unusual for us to call each other names when things get really heated. 5. It’s important for both of us to empathize with one another, no matter how strongly we feel about our own position. 6. After we’ve had an argument, only one of us feels better, or neither one of us feels better. 7. After we’ve had an argument, we both feel better: the air has been cleared. 8. I can get pretty accusing when I argue: “YOU did this, YOU did that.” 9. I try to confine myself to stating my feelings when I argue: “I felt this when you did that.” 10. The most important thing in an argument is to win and be right. 11. The most important thing in an argument is for both of us to feel heard and understood. If you answered TRUE to odd-numbered questions, your conflict resolution skills are healthy and strong. You are to be commended! If you answered TRUE to even-numbered questions, you might want to read one of the many excellent books on communication skills and conflict resolution so that your relationships can flourish.

These six simple steps can take the sting out of conflict and lead to peaceful, mutually satisfying resolution. I have seen, over and over again, how relationships improve when my clients begin practicing these steps in their lives. Let these six simple principles for conflict resolution help you on the path toward a more peaceful life and better interactions with others. 1. Detach. If you weren’t personally involved with this conflict, how differently would you feel? Do what you can to self-soothe, be objective, calm yourself, and not take it personally. It can help to approach the conflict as if you were an objective outside witness, simply observing. 2. Be Curious. Be with the conflict in the spirit of inquiry, asking yourself questions like, What is the other person feeling? What lesson might be hidden here? Where are my healthy boundaries around this issue? 3. Fair hearing. As far as possible, let the other person express him or herself, without your evaluating, judging, or condemning either them or what they have to say. If uncomfortable feelings come up, breathe through them. Witness to yourself how you are feeling without acting on those feelings: there is nothing wrong with anger, for instance–anger is a healthy sign that something needs to change. But some of the things people do with anger, like saying mean or hurtful things, can be damaging. 4. Echo. Repeat back what you heard. You will be amazed at how we often mis-hear things, and what a profoundly healing effect it has on a situation to simply be heard. Also, if your conflict-partner has said hurtful things to you, simply stating what you heard can be really eye-opening: often, people simply don’t realize the effect their words have on others. 5. Express. Rather than attacking with “You” statements, use “I” statements to say how you feel. No one can argue with your feelings: they’re yours. Take responsibility for your feelings, but stay as clean as possible, not allowing them to make you behave in less-than-kind ways. Making the choice to stay in your truth with both strength and compassion is tremendously empowering. 6. Find the Win-Win. Perceive the other person as your partner in conflict resolution rather than as an enemy. Ask questions like “What can we do to make this feel better? What would be a good solution for both of us?”

Hey all! I just wanted to let everyone know that I am sorry for not being around lately. Ever since Sunday evening, my community has been hit hard by brush fires that have erupted and many homes as well as damaged others while desecrating much land and natural environments. Not only have people been affected, but wildlife as well and I have spent the past several days collecting much needed donations for those affected and in shelters since they lost everything, thanks to dry conditions and the ill actions of a suspect being held in custody. Arson seems to be the culprit of the chaos and it behooves me to even contemplate the actions, let alone the consequences of spite. No matter how hard things seem to get, I have this (no pun intended) burning desire to help those less fortunate than I - for it gives me purpose and reason, as well as brings me back to the basics and essentials of respect and honor for the gift of life. I am humbled to serve those in need and share what little I have, but by dedicating time and effort, I have extended myself to the community into accepting me and my deeds as a pagan to not only those affected, but to many diocese that have been helpful with community organizations to combine the efforts of the Red Cross, Federal Aid, Emergency Response and Rescue and humanitarian as well as animal efforts. Working with the Catholic Charities, the Baptist Missions and Methodist Churches and other local community outreach programs has enabled us all to break down the barriers of race, creed, color, sex and united us all as one race - the human race. Blatently displaying my pentacle, tree of life and Goddess pendants and "pagan paraphernalia" while knocking on doors, collecting donations and goods, going to businesses for basic essentials for the temporary shelters and coordinating with a multitude of individuals and charities in my community has raised more than a few eyebrows but has also inspired several pastors, ministers, deacons and priests for this weekends sermons. I was asked if I was a believer, and prayed to be saved by many - yet my responses struck a chord with many that I have to share my answer to "Why are you doing this for those that judge you?" question... I do this all because I can, am willing and am able to do so... for we are all one race - the Human Race, and with the smoke and ash consuming so much of what my neighbors have fought to obtain, it pains me to see their loss, and any comfort I can give in their time of need, brings my brothers and sisters together in their time of need. For we are all connected, and have but one mother and father - Mother Nature and Father Time. It is the present and I am here for a reason and paying it forward. A gift to be opened and appreciated for nothing is constant but change. My desire is to change the perceived misconceptions of "witches" and pagans through actions and unification of the basic needs of all life - food, water, shelter and love. After 9/11 - many of us who got out alive were covered in ash and debris we were not able to tell the difference of color or economic indications - a true humanitarian instinct that does differentiate us from the selfish implications of greed among the rest of the "deadly sins". We helped on another and it continues to be the sole/soul purpose of my very existence. I have a light that burns so brightly within and my desire to be that beacon of light for those lost in the dark that I cannot help myself and hope that the ripple effect of my actions is as contagious as the black plague (albeit differently named) and a positive influence to those whom I come in contact with. The effects just may make a difference and change this world. I know it's just a hope, but with hard work, painful effort and many tears of both sorrow and joy we can all make a difference in another's life and thought process - eradicating bias and prejudice. On top of all this mayhem and chaos, I did take a time out for myself and did get to my first drum lesson playing the bass Congo drum Tuesday evening and got a side lesson on the Maat - the Egyptian style of frame drum versus the Celtic Bodham and met up with a few of my local pagan group members on Wednesday so we can coordinate efforts to assist in the community. I am also working to help my friends in a group from Australia called Spiral Dance to get some name recognition and attention with some contacts in NYC for some promotional possibilities and keep plugging away on my human and animal rights campaigns. Today, California has lifted the ban on Gay Marriages and yesterday, the polar bears have been given threatened status by the powers that be. There is still much to do on many levels and causes and if you know me, I'm there fighting for what many fear lost or do not care about as passionately as I do. All life is sacred, yet do not dictate to me what my freedoms and liberties have already been fought and won at the blood, sweat and tears of those before me. Goodness knows I love my country, but fear my government and it's up to each and every one of us to make a difference and change. May you all be well, be safe and again, forgive my absence and rant. It does feel good to purge and share and I hope I have not bored anyone who choses to read this to death... Brightest Blessings to all! {{{HUGS}}}

If your ghost is a problem, here's what to do. I offer many solutions from my research as well as folklore. Start with one or two of these remedies. It should not be necessary to use them all. * The simplest solution is also the most reliable: Speak to the ghost, out loud. Shout, if you feel you must. Explain to your ghost that you live there now and he/she is doing things that bother you. Explain exactly what those things are. Ask the ghost to stop immediately. If you want the ghost to leave altogether, you need to say that. This usually works. However, some ghosts won't take you seriously, and you may need to remind it to leave you alone several times before it stays away. * Holy Water is another tried-and-true remedy for ghosts. Respectfully and quietly enter your nearest Catholic Church, carrying a small jar or bottle from home. Somewhere in the public area, there will be a large container of Holy Water, usually stainless steel with a cross and a spigot on it. Fill your container with Holy Water. It's nice to leave a small donation for this, too. (A dollar or two is customary.)Upon returning home, pour a liberal amount of the water into a small bowl. Dip your fingers into the water, and stand in any doorway in the house.Make a broad Sign of the Cross in the doorway, allowing the water to fly off your fingers as you gesture. (If you don't know how to make a Sign of the Cross, ask any Catholic.)It can be helpful to add an out-loud prayer, such as "I bless this house in the name of Jesus," or, "I banish all evil spirits from this home, in the name of God," or something like that.(If you feel silly saying this, and can't help laughing as you do it, don't do it. This is not a light or casual ritual.) Do this in every doorway, interior and exterior. Also do this at every window; don't forget the attic and the basement. * Prayer and religion Your ancestors, deities, and saints are in the spirit world, as your ghost is. It's logical to ask the help of these friendly spirits. If you have a shrine--formal or informal (such as a display of photos)--to your ancestors, have a chat with your favorite deceased ancestor. Explain the situation to him/her, and ask for help.If you're very upset about your ghost, I recommend the Irish saint, St. Dymphna, who is the patron saint of mental health. She's great for calming situations. Many Catholics save St. Jude for extreme situations when all else has failed. He's busy enough with others' urgent requests. Pagans (such as myself) may want to use a banishing ritual, unless the idea bothers you, of course. * Garlic Don't laugh! Garlic is a tried-and-true repellant for unpleasant spirits of all kinds. Hang one clove (not an entire bulb) in each doorway and window where you need protection. A clove in your pocket is a good idea, too. If you believe in folk magick, you can create a small pouch with several protection herbs in it, including five-finger grass, cinnamon, and echinacea. However, don't overdo this. The point is to repel ghosts, not drive everyone away from you! *grin* Along the same lines, hematite is a folk remedy too. Wearing it, or even carrying a piece of this unusually heavy black stone, will--according to legend--absorb evil energy. This won't get rid of the ghost, just the negative effects of it. * The shoe remedy This one sounds silly but gets great results: When you go to bed at night, set out the shoes you'll wear in the morning. Place them at the foot of your bed, on the floor, with one shoe pointing one way, and the other shoe pointing the opposite way. According to folklore, the ghosts get so confused by this, they leave after a few nights. * Incense and space clearing Some professionals use sage incense, sometimes called "smudge sticks" at the health food store. We favor Nag Champa, but a nice apple pie or vanilla scented incense may be more suitable. Light the incense and carry it around, making certain that you get the smoke everywhere, particularly inside closets, room corners (use a sturdy chair or ladder for uppermost corners), attics, basements, and so on.Or, you can ring a bell in every corner, and in every room. Or clap your hands.The whole idea is to get the air moving in stale corners where ghosts may be hiding. If you can't do anything else, vacuum! * Convex mirrors You'll need one inexpensive convex mirror (from the automotive department of any discount store) for each room that's haunted. You'll need extra mirrors if your windows in the haunted room face more than one direction. That is, if your windows face North and East, you'll need two convex mirrors, regardless of the number of windows you have. You'll need one more convex mirror if your computer is in a haunted room, and your back is to the door when you're working. If your TV room is haunted and the ghost enters when your back is to the door (watching television), you'll want a mirror in that room, too.Convex mirrors are usually very small and plastic, with double-stick adhesive tape on the back. They're sold for truckers to place on the outside mirror, to improve their field of vision when they're backing up. At stores such as Wal-Mart, these mirrors cost less than $2 each.When you get home with your mirrors, select one window in a haunted room. Place the mirror discreetly in a corner, preferably behind a curtain. The mirror should face towards the outside of the house. When a ghost approaches your window from the outside, he sees his own distorted reflection and goes away.In haunted rooms where you sit with your back to the door, place the mirror so that you will see anyone (or anything) entering the room, without turning your head. (This is also a Feng Shui remedy.) * Flat mirrors Any cheap mirror, even a plastic one, will work for this. Buy one for each room that is haunted. Place the mirror at eye level, inside the room that is haunted, against the door. The shiny side of the mirror should face the door itself, not you. Supposedly, the ghost looks through the door and sees his reflection in the mirror. This scares him away.I know this one makes no sense... why would a ghost look through a door but not a mirror...? Nevertheless, people report excellent results.I recommend placing a photo, poster, or something artistic over the area where the mirror is. Otherwise, your friends will raise an eyebrow. * Sand, rice, split peas, etc. Randomly toss rice, split peas, sand, salt (but not sugar as it leaves a sticky residue), coffee beans or grounds, or anything small and granular, on your kitchen floor when you go to bed at night (if that's when the ghosts are most bothersome). According to folklore, the ghosts will pause to count the grains of whatever-it-is. They aren't very good at counting, so they have to start over again, repeatedly, or they forget the numbers. Clean up the mess in the morning, and do the same routine again at night. After a few nights of this, the ghosts will leave. One variation of this is to hang a vial or tube of sand in the window of any haunted room. You can use a cheap test tube from a chemistry kit (or a feeding vial for hamsters, for example), or any similar small container. You can use a thin ribbon and a push pin to hang it in the window. Like the grains of rice on the kitchen floor, any entering ghost has to pause to count the sand granules. After a few nights, he'll give up and haunt somewhere else. These counting remedies come from a variety of cultures, including Irish and Native American, so this may be a reliable way to rid the house of ghosts. * Paint your door red This is an old Irish tradition: Paint your front door red. Spirits won't enter a home with a red door. A related tradition is the Irish Sheela-na-gig (regarded by some as vulgar), and other religious and cultural icons placed at a front doorway, for protection. On many pious Puritan homes of the Colonial era, you'll see a geometric pattern of nails. Whether these church-goers were aware of it or not, the pattern in the door was a protection, according to ancient folklore. (And at a time when nails were difficult to find, it's interesting that the design on the door was such a priority.) "Hex" signs, also called distelfinks, are popular in the Pennsylvania Dutch region. You can make or buy these signs and use them outside your front door, too. * String hazelnuts at your door Hazelnuts have been used for protection since ancient times. In my house, I have a string of nine hazelnuts, tied with green ribbon (held in place with discreet dots of hot glue). When I just hung the hazelnuts, they looked... well, odd. *grin* so I bought a small grapevine wreath at the local crafts supply shop, decorated it with fake ivy, and wove the hazelnuts through the ivy. It looks great. You'll want one of these at every doorway into your house. You may want to bless the wreath in a ritual suited to your own religious beliefs, or have your local priest bless it. There's no reason to explain what this is for, except to say it's a "good luck" token for your front and back door, or something like that. (You'd be amazed at the things that priests are asked to bless. Your wreath won't even raise an eyebrow. Really!) Hazelnuts are generally available in the autumn, between the middle of October and December. Stock up on them, then, if you might want to make extra wreaths for the protection of family members and friends, to have one for your office, and so on. * Sea Salt I have my own "blessed salt" that I use in particularly dangerous hauntings. Mine is specially prepared, but if you have your local Catholic priest bless some sea salt, it will probably work well enough for most hauntings. According to legend, ghosts cannot cross a line of blessed salt, so you can use it to keep a ghost in a particular area, or create a boundary that he/she cannot cross to get to you. If none of these remedies works and you still have a significant, perhaps life-threatening problem, ask a Catholic priest to find out who is authorized to do exorcisms. However, they will perform this rite only if the case is documented and extreme. Avoid charlatans who carry a Bible or a dowsing wand, and claim to be "ghost busters" for a hefty donation. And watch out for the crazies in this field anyway.

Herbal remedies are medications made directly from the leaves, stems, roots and/or seeds of plants. They are also known as natural, complimentary, alternative, homeopathic and holistic medications or preparations. Herbal remedies have been used for thousands of years by all major cultures of the world. In fact the World Health Organization (WHO) reports that herbal remedies are the primary medicines for approximately 80% of the world’s population today. It is estimated that 50% of adults in the U.S. have used an herbal product at least once and 25% use them on a regular basis. Herbal remedies were the primary source of medications prescribed by physicians in the U.S. until the early 1900's. With the rise of technology, many herbal remedies were synthesized into the medications we use today. Approximately 75% of modern medicines come from plant derivatives. Some examples include: * Poppy plant - Morphine * Belladonna - Atropine * Foxglove - Digoxin * Willow Bark - Aspirin * Yew Tree - Taxol Since the 1960's, Americans have become more interested in pursuing less conventional and more “natural” treatments for their medical problems. It is estimated that Americans spent $5 billion a year on herbal remedies. Although these herbal remedies are considered “natural”, they are not without their complications and adverse side effects. Herbal remedies are considered dietary supplements by law. They are not considered drugs because they cannot obtain patent rights. Therefore, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not legally require herbal medications to undergo scientific testing before they are available to the public. The FDA may remove an herbal medication once it is on the market if it proves it is not safe. As a result, there is a lack of regulation of herbal remedies leading to the following problems: * Lack of warning labels about adverse effects and problems which may occur when used with other drugs * Concentrations and strengths of herbal preparations can be inconsistent or not even exist * Toxic substances may be added, either intentionally or by accident, such as pesticides, heavy metals (such as lead or mercury) and prescription drugs It is estimated that 20% of people who use prescription drugs also use herbal remedies. And 70% do not tell their doctors they are taking these herbal preparations. Due to the lack of regulation, and because there may be effects if they are taken with other drugs, when a physician does not know what herbal preparations a patients takes, the risk for problems is increased. Herbal Remedies Used for Pain There are numerous herbal remedies sold in the U.S. for pain control. Of the top ten herbal remedies sold in the U.S., five are marketed directly for pain relief. * St. John’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum) Use: Depression, Anxiety, headache, muscle and nerve pain Adverse effects: Insomnia, anxiety, fatigue, headache Serious problems may occur when used with these drugs: Antidepressants, triptans, opiods, HIV drugs, digoxin, warfarin, oral contraceptives, chemotherapy, albuterol * Echinacea (Echinacea purpura) Use: Respiratory infection, urinary infection, wound healing, migraines Adverse effects: Allergic reaction, nausea, stomach pain, diarrhea, dizziness Serious problems may occur when used with these drugs: Acetaminophen, immunosuppressive therapy * Feverfew (Tanacetum parthenium) Use: Migraine Adverse effects: Headache, ulcers, GI upset Serious problems may occur when used with these drugs: Anticoagulants * Ginger (Zingiber Officinale) Use: Nausea, GI upset, thermal burns, topical analgesic Adverse effects: Increase bleeding risk Serious problems may occur when used with these drugs: Diabetic drugs, heart drugs, reflux and stomach ulcer drugs * Ginseng (Panax quinquefolius) Use: Memory, depression, headache, fatigue Adverse effects: Anxiety, insomnia, headache Serious problems may occur when used with these drugs: NSAIDS, antipsychotic drugs, hormones, MAOIs, immunosuppressants, opiods, alcohol Other herbal remedies used for pain also include belladonna, capsaicin, camphor, chamomile, cloves, devil’s claw, cayenne, dong quai, white willow and yohimbe. It is encouraging to note that more scientific studies are being performed to look at the effectiveness and safety of herbal remedies. For example, a recent study in Canada showed that devil’s claw, white willow bark, and cayenne plasters may be as effective as prescribed drugs for acute episodes of back pain. Also, ephedra (Ma huang) was taken off the market in 2004 by the FDA. Ephedra was used for weight loss and athletic performance and was responsible for serious cardiovascular side effects as well as reports of death and permanent disability. Talk to your doctor Herbal remedies can be effective and safe alternatives or adjunctive therapies to conventional medicine. However, great care must be taken to obtain these remedies from reliable sources. This will increase the likelihood that they are pure and the dosing is accurate. It is of vital importance to always review ALL of your medications (including prescribed drugs and herbal remedies) with all your healthcare practitioners in order to avoid adverse side effects and physical complications.

Pain-Free Through Food James N. Dillard, MD, DC, CAc Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons reprinted from Daily Health News, June 28, 2004 URL: http://www.bottomlinesecrets.com/blpnet/article.html?article_id=34013 Believe it or not, the foods you eat may be making your chronic aches and pains worse. To learn about the dietary approach to chronic pain, I spoke with James N. Dillard, MD, DC, CAc, assistant clinical professor at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City and author of The Chronic Pain Solution (Bantam). Dr. Dillard is formally trained in three health professions -- acupuncture, chiropractic and conventional medicine -- and is an all-around pain specialist. He emphasizes an integrative approach to pain management -- one that combines the best in conventional and traditional medicine, including his own pain-control diet. THE PAIN-CONTROL DIET As you've read many times in Daily Health News, the typical American diet is pretty terrible. To save time, we fill up on processed products and fast foods, which leave us tired, irritable and overweight. We eat few healthy foods, particularly fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, deep-water fish and nuts, which naturally make us feel better. If you don't feed your body well, it will not heal well, according to Dr. Dillard. He says that making good food choices can help control the inflammatory process, strengthen resistance to pain and lessen side effects of medications. Good food choices also help ease the side effects of pain, such as listlessness, fatigue, insomnia, weight gain and digestive problems. In contrast, poor food choices increase pain and the accompanying need for medication. Just one fast-food order of a greasy burger and fries can bring on a flare-up of arthritis or PMS or nerve pain, says Dr. Dillard. To lessen pain and feel better overall, he recommends making small, incremental changes to gradually work your way toward a healthier diet. FRESH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES When your body is worn down by pain, fresh fruits and vegetables act as tonics, says Dr. Dillard. Their nutrients strengthen your body. Plant substances called phytochemicals bolster your immune system and enhance your resistance to heart disease, cancer and other illnesses. Good sources of phytochemicals include richly colored, market-ripe produce, such as berries, red grapes, leafy greens, carrots, pumpkins, tomatoes and peaches. Green vegetables are especially beneficial. These contain B-complex vitamins (often deficient in people with chronic pain), magnesium (which helps relax smooth muscles and possibly ease stress) and chemicals that encourage the production of serotonin (a brain chemical or neurotransmitter important for sleep and the regulation of mood states). Among Dr. Dillard's favorites are broccoli, chard, kale and spinach. THE RIGHT FATS Some fats increase inflammation, while others relieve it, explains Dr. Dillard. Chronic inflammatory pain, experienced as muscle and joint tenderness, angina and headaches, is a signal that hormones called prostaglandins are out of balance. There are two kinds of prostaglandins -- one encourages inflammation while the other discourages it. The predominant type in your body depends on the food you eat. Pro-inflammatory fats. When you eat excess animal fats and the partially hydrogenated oils that permeate processed, fried and fast foods, you encourage the production of pro-inflammatory prostaglandins, says Dr. Dillard. The good news is that not only will replacing one fast-food meal a day with a healthful alternative go a long way toward reducing painful inflammation, it will also encourage weight loss, which means less pressure on your back and joints. Dr. Dillard recommends that you steer clear of what he views as pro-inflammatory fats... * Butter * Corn oil * Full-fat dairy products, such as whole milk and ice cream * Margarine * Safflower, sesame, or sunflower oils * Tropical oils (such as coconut or palm) * Vegetable shortening Anti-inflammatory fats. Anti-inflammatory prostaglandins are derived from omega-3 fatty acids, which are found in foods, such as deep-water fish, flaxseed and walnuts. A diet that emphasizes anti-inflammatory fats also may inhibit the production of Substance P, a neurotransmitter associated with pain and inflammation. If you eat salmon, one of the most popular deep-water fish, Dr. Dillard recommends the wild variety. He notes that farm-raised salmon do not consume the plant substances that make wild salmon rich in omega-3 fatty acids. If you're not a fish eater, Dr. Dillard recommends 10 capsules to 12 capsules of fish oil concentrate, or 15 milliliters to 20 milliliters of cod liver oil daily. If the oil repeats on you, try an enteric-coated pill called Fisol (soft gel) daily. A simple way to incorporate flaxseeds and walnuts into your diet is to sprinkle them on salads. Caution: Check with your physician before taking fish oil if you are taking any type of blood-thinning medication... and stop taking omega-3s two weeks prior to any major surgery. Dr. Dillard advises the inclusion of plenty of anti-inflammatory fats in your diet, such as... * Water-cooked eggs fortified with omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids are often added to eggs now, and that information is clearly marked on the cartons of eggs in your grocery store. * Flaxseeds and flaxseed oil * Herring * Pumpkin seeds * Mackerel * Olive oil * Salmon * Sardines * Walnuts. AN EMPHASIS ON WHOLE GRAINS Whole grains are an excellent source of nutrients vital to pain control, such as the B-complex vitamins. More often, however, people consume refined grains that aggravate inflammation. Dr. Dillard notes that many of his patients experience severe flare-ups of pain after consuming refined products, especially sweet baked goods. An important part of his pain-control diet consists of whole-wheat and oat breads, with an emphasis on fresh loaves from the bakery or health-food store. Oatmeal for breakfast and brown rice for dinner are also healthful alternatives. When it comes to chronic pain management, don't overlook the simple but effective strategy of a healthful diet. Test yourself. For two nights this week, eat fish instead of red meat. If nerve pain is bothering you, add two servings of green vegetables to your plate each of those days. Cut out the sugars and see how you feel. Source * James N. Dillard, MD, DC, CAc, assistant clinical professor at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, New York City. His clinical practice at the Columbia-Presbyterian eastside offices focuses on musculoskeletal rehabilitation, spine pain and headache, integrative pain medicine and general complementary and alternative medicine. Dr. Dillard's most recent book is The Chronic Pain Solution (Bantam).

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world. Some signs and symptoms of inner peace: * A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences. * An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment. * A loss of interest in judging other people. * A loss of interest in judging self. * A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. * A loss of interest in conflict. * A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.) * Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. * Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature. * Frequent attacks of smiling. * An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen. * An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it. WARNING: If you have some or all of the above symptoms, please be advised that your condition of inner peace may be so far advanced as to not be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.