darzem2's blog: "Headaches"

YOU CAN'T STEAL MY **CHRISTMAS* Poem by Sharon Steege I don't know who they are Saying I can't greet the crowd The way that I want to Can't say **CHRISTMAS** out loud. I walk into a business place See things that I rather not see But dare I not say **CHRISTMAS** And ask for a 'holiday' tree. What happened to freedom of speech And living in the land of the free How can they take my **CHRISTMAS** money But can't say **MERRY CHRISTMAS** to me. Men and women have given their lives So we could still go free I wonder how they would feel At saying HOLIDAY TREE. Come on AMERICA let's wake up Don't let our freedom escape If they get by with doing this What else will they take. This is starting to get out of hand, And I've begun to keep track Well I've just about had enough I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK.* So MERRY CHRISTMAS AMERICA** I hope this gets all over the net If we all stand united and take freedom back 'Twill be our best CHRISTMAS YET! Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus! * PASS IT ON!

THE WEDDING Mike was going to be married to Karen, So his father sat him down for a little chat. He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, "Here - try these on." She did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them." " I replied, "Exactly, I wear the pants in this family and I always will." "Ever since that night we never had any problems." "Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try, so on his honeymoon Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on." She tried them on and said, "These are too large. They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that." Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here, you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into your pants." Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will." And they lived happily ever after.

A husband walks into the bedroom ... ...holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache." He replies, "Gotcha!"