Somehow between watching children, buying cars and preparing my household for immanent broke-dom, we managed to fit in a couple of trips to the Bull.
To dance, laugh and shoot a few rounds of pool.
I have only found the time, once this week, to write. And I snuck it too.
My house has been crazy, but happy. Filled with family, food and laughter.
Messes, belated valentines and not enough down time.
In the twelve days that we have had guests, my house was turned up side down. We had four dogs barking, runnng and pooping.
Four kids hopping and yelling and laughing.
And three adults smiling..but bewildered by it all.
I have known Melanie for god knows how many years, we met when we were twelve. Her children are mine, and vice versa. When we are both in the house, our children have two mammas.
It seems she was here longer then 12 days, so much has happened. On the last day she was here, we took a long drive out to see my daddy, and her grandparents.
There was grass, finally, surrounding my daddies headstone.
That made me happy.
And what was once a dry, barren landscape, is now dotted with sheep on the mountain side and wet grass beneath our feet.
I wore flip flops, and my toes were bathed in cold water, with each step I took.
I didn't mind.
It made me feel closer to this earth.
It is sad to introduce Dustin to marble, scribed with my fathers name, instead of the man.
He stood next to me and wrapped his arms around me, infusing me with warmth from behind.
I cried.
And he held me tighter.
It all is surreal when you stand above the man who was taller then anyone who ever lived.
Stronger then an Oak tree.
It is tremendously difficult for me to look down upon my father.
But it is needed. Respect to be paid. Introductions to be had.
Later that day Dustin introduced me to his mother, again a name written on Marble, a loved one beneath earth.
His large fingers traced her name as he cleaned off her grave.
He knelt and placed flowers, and when he stood my arms held him.
We walked away.
That in itself is difficult.
Their place of rest is where they reside, besides in our hearts. You feel them THERE, more then anywhere.
And to walk away, with a whispered goodbye scented with tears...is the hardest of all.
