I reported my boss for years of sexual harassment. HR was to talk about those incidents and tell him to stop that. Well they made it stop everything and when they talked to me and told me all the "rules" and such they made it seem like I was the bad person and etc...and to not confuse these rules w any for of retaliation. Which means now things we have all done all along...if I do one thing...they can terminate me without me saying it's retaliation supposedly. And all this so there is no "grey" area. And they (HR & VP) also made comment of apparently I had a fit and went off on our service guy and called him a bunch of names and such. I NEVER DID THIS AND DON'T RECALL ANYTHING CLOSE TO IT! I asked what happened and when and I was given, "It's of no importance" yeah right.
See I asked HR what I should do because I just wanted to email my boss and tell him to stop and use better judgement. Well they said that was incorrect and took it all in their "hands" and all this other stuff was done. Now everyone in this office is going to be spoken to and such on appropriate behavior & etc. *note* I work in a regional office that has 6 people in it. So now it will never be the same and all work relationships will be crap and I'm the one being treated like an outcast and bad person, given the silent treatment, avoided, over-looked, ignored, left out, etc. I'm sorry but to me that is retaliation.
I need a new job! I put myself thru college and can't even get a decent job. I'm paying for a degree that I'm basically wiping my butt with. I hate being a female! It's not fair, I have suffered all of my adulthood in the workplace because of it. Yet I prove time and time again how good I am at all that I do!
To give you an idea of what was reported here's my journal...
August 24, 2006: I was asked what I was doing over the weekend. I said I was spending it w my mom but that Friday I had a “date.” Dennis was standing in front of my desk. He put his hands on top of my monitor, leaned into me and asked me, “You don’t sleep with every man you date do you?” With a look of disgust I said to Dennis, “That is none of your business! I can’t believe you would ask me such a thing.” He replied with, “You never know Stacy you should be careful.” I then made the comment, “Thanks Dennis, I’ll just add that to the list I’m giving to my lawyer.” For the rest of the day I was just sickened and stressed out. Very upset by this. There have been remarks, jokes, inappropriate things said and such before this that I had “dealt” with and said my usual replies of it being wrong, inappropriate, and the “adding to list” comment I make to let him know that is wrong and it makes me feel uncomfortable and is for all intent and purposes harassment. But when he made this comment I decided to try to start taking notes of these things as I had strange feeling I should start noting things.
October 20, 2006: I wore a long skirt, black long sleeve sweater, and black high heel boots. Dennis came into office and said I looked nice. I said thank you. Dennis noticed my boots and said, “Those are some sexy boots! Be a lot less issues in the world if more wore boots like those!” I replied “thank you Dennis, I like my boots too. Just would not think that of them and maybe you shouldn’t either.” And I walked out of the bathroom/coffee room and went back to my desk.
December 15, 2006: Bill was off today and I was pulling orders, Dennis came in and helped me get them together. We were chatting about the Bears n football a bit. Dennis made a remark about me dating, “I haven’t heard you talking about anyone lately are you seeing anyone?” and I said “no, just doing my own thing right now. I have enough going on in life right now. I don’t need to have to worry about that too!” Dennis then asked me, “You’re not gay are you? That might explain why you’re not seeing any guys. Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” (and he chuckles as he quotes Seinfeld) To which I said, “I don’t know what business that is of yours if I am or not. What kind of logical reasoning you’d get from making a conclusion and remark like that?”
April 6, 2007: Dennis advised the new guy will be starting in the next few weeks. I asked which guy they hired looking to know which it was out of curiosity as it will be a new person in the office and when they were starting. Dennis snapped at me, “Forget it Stacy!” and I said “forget what?” he replied, “Forget it Stacy he’s married!” to this I raised my voice and said in a stern voice, “Why would you say that to me??? I was asking about whom it was because it’s a new person and when so I could get things together for them like supplies, literature, and such! That is just absurd that you would say something like that to me!” I got “Oh come on I didn’t mean anything behind that Ms. Landis!” I then said, “Thanks Dennis I’m glad you keep reminding me what you think of me. I’ll just add that to the list.” He laughed and went into his office.
***No women were called, interviewed, or considered for this position. I had made comments about sales and women. Dennis informed me that they made the mistake of hiring a woman to do sales once and she was terrible. Did a horrible job and didn’t know a thing about sales. That she had scammed the company and got paid for doing work she never did. And also “That’s the last time I make that mistake!” Dennis said in regards to hiring her, a female, for sales.
August 2007: I was on the phone w a distributor and Dennis was talking to Tim by his desk rather loudly. They were talking about Aurora Pump and while I’m on the phone w Deb @ Northern Water Works, Dennis very loudly says, “They’re whores! They’re all a bunch of fucking whores over there!” I excused myself from my phone conversation and put her on hold. I then said loudly, “Hey, I’m on the phone w a customer, I don’t think they’d like to hear “They’re whores!” and such in the background!” I then went back to my conversation and apologized for putting her on hold. I hope she did not hear what was said, she never mentioned anything but I was embarrassed! After I got off the phone I said, “What is wrong with you guys? One, I’m on the phone w a customer. Two, I am a woman and I take great offense to people being called whores. Three, that is just wrong and I am totally embarrassed!” Dennis then said, “Sorry, you’re right. But those asses in purchasing are a bunch of whores!” I said, “Whatever Dennis, I’ll just add it to the list...”
September 2007: Dennis took me to lunch. Said reason for the lunch was to discuss my job, opportunities, and ideas. He asked if I would be interested in having Dave (service person) work under me. As he is not getting his work done and they are continually losing money on him. That I will schedule his service and do the invoicing and such. Basically run Dave’s schedule and such and be in charge of service. I said that would be great and about time regarding getting things in gear here and taking action. I was told it was in the process of being written out of what will be done and that it would definitely have a significant wage increase.
***To this day nothing has happened or come about. I had inquired with him status of this and implementation and etc. and all I got was “We’re figuring things out.” and similar replies. I stopped asking in November.
October 2007: I just had my yearly review and I was marked satisfactory on one instance because I “take things too personally.” When I asked Dennis what that was about he explained that I let things get to me too easily and take things personally. I argued w Dennis about this that it should not be marked down as a flaw that someone is passionate about their work and takes it seriously and personally the job they do. He said, “I understand that but don’t do it too much. And you take jokes and comments said here at the office too personally. They’re just jokes.” Now I’m sorry but I should not be held back or mark down poorly because of the fact I do not feel certain jokes/behaviors are appropriate in this office! I have been sick all day since this happened!
November 2007: Upon returning from Canada trip, I was asked what I learned and how things went. I said it was VERY informative and I learned more in those days then my 2 years here in Elgin. Dennis asked how I liked everyone and I said they were very nice and it was good to put faces with the people I work with so much. He inquired on the warehouse/factory and I replied, “It was great and you know what I saw there?” Dennis asked what, I said, “All the women in the warehouse were doing everything, INCLUDING driving the fork lifts!” Dennis replied, “Yeah well they’re dumb up there. I’m still not letting you drive the forklift! It’s bad enough Bill drives it, don’t need any women drivers behind the wheel of the fork lift!” Since I had started working here Dennis has refused to let me take classes and get certified to drive the fork lift. His reasoning is because I am a woman and I should not be driving a fork lift. Now I understand “chivalry” and I do ask for help when I can not lift something because it is too heavy for me. But there is no reason why I can not learn to drive the forklift as Bill and I have the same job title and I do his job when he is absent. Sometimes there is no one here to drive the lift when needed or others who are not regulars at it have to be imposed upon to stop and do it. All the males in this office can drive the fork lift but I am not allowed to, it is forbidden.
January 7, 2008: We are having record high temps today. All the snow is melting and it’s about 60’ out! Dennis comes up to my desk talking about the weather and how it’s January and we’re having this heat wave. We discuss snow melting and all and out of nowhere Dennis says, “If this keeps up we should wear bathing suits to the office! You’d wear a bikini to work wouldn’t you?” and I looked at Dennis and said, “No I don’t wear those but thanks for making feel uncomfortable that I should work in one though. I’ll just add that to the list for my lawyer.” Dennis said, “Sorry if I offended you.” And I replied, “Just watch what you say Dennis!” I’m always telling him things like this…will he ever learn?!?! What if someone spoke to his wife or daughters like this? Would he accept that kind of behavior?! I mentioned that to him and he told me to “lighten up.”
January 22, 2008: I was dressed up slightly w make-up on to go meet friends after work for a dinner party. Dennis said I looked very attractive and that this is what I should dress like and look like every day at the office. Asked why I was dressed up and I said, “I have a dinner party to attend.” I got the reply, “Well you should have no problem with the men tonight.” I replied, “Thanks, Dennis.” In a low, upset tone of voice. He then asked me “what?” and I replied with “Dennis, that’s not right. And I’m not concerned with what I will or won’t have a problem with!”
Approx 10-15 minutes later Dennis came out of his office and stood in front of my desk talking about the trip to California and the “gossip” telling me that Bob Haines got written up for sexual harassment because he made a comment to a woman that some man at Cla-val had a “hard-on” about something. I asked Dennis why he was telling me this as I can not believe that about Bob Haines, not to mention the fact that things of that nature are supposed to remain in strictest confidentiality. He then made reference to the female as “frigid” and I asked him why he said that as it’s not a nice thing to say and perhaps that person took offense to that type of expression. He told me “don’t worry about it, she won’t be there much longer. Trust me!” and he walked away. I’m sorry but to me this is a veiled threat. This shook me up and really made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.
February 5, 2008: I was out the 4th with a horrible migraine that affected me most of my weekend. I was told by other persons in the office that Dennis made remarks about me and my drinking and how nice it was for me to call in sick after the super bowl. When he came into the office he asked me with attitude, “Are you feeling better Ms. Landis? Recovering from your super bowl sickness?” which I replied, “Not really Dennis as I had a migraine most of the weekend. I barely even saw the superbowl. I was not at any parties and I was not drinking. I was laying on my couch trying to get better!” Dennis is periodically making remakes, jokes, references to my lifestyle and such out of work and my “drinking.” I do not parade my personal life around this office. And because I meet friends at a pub does not mean I am an alcoholic. I have repeatedly stated this is untrue and that no one should ever insinuate that all I do is drink and live frivolously. Whether I do any of this or not in my personal life is MY BUSINESS AND NO ONE ELSES! I have repeatedly asked that my life not be referred to in such ways and conclusions made. That it is degrading and disrespectful to me and I do not like it.
February 14, 2008: In strolling around the office Dennis came over to my desk, “What are you doing for valentine’s day tonight? Got a hot date?” and I replied with, “Yes, I am spending the evening with my mom, we are each other’s valentines.” Which got the reply, “Well that’s nice of you. I don’t get it though, you’re a very attractive woman, smart, intelligent; why aren’t you married and having kids?” As if I am a failure in life because these are not things I have at the moment. I replied with, “Because I’m smart! Not to mention it’s not your place to assume that I need to be married and have a man take care of me to be complete.” To this I was given an, “I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to upset you.” Well this did upset and made me think, I’m not going to go anywhere here as he thinks I’m here working to make money until I get a man to take care of me and start having kids. My stomach was upset and I had a lump in my throat thinking I will never get what I deserve here with my abilities and talents, that I was and always will be just a woman buying time by working and nothing else. Not taken seriously. Which is what I get reminded of repeatedly.
February 18, 2008: I was discussing with Tim about high class restaurants and how the servers there depending on the night, length of shift and business make $500-1000 a night in tips. And that I should see if I can still handle it and see if one would hire me for a night or two part time as I could use the money but on how hard of a job it is and very draining physically. Dennis emerged from his office obviously not hearing the entire conversation and asked what we were discussing. I said, “about me working part time as a server at high class restaurants.” To this Dennis said, “Where you going to work, Hooters?” I replied in a very stern voice, “Um no! Why would you assume that and say that to me?” I got “Whoa, relax it was just a joke!” Tim Springer and I then emailed a few back and forth about “what was that?!?!” and it’s being wrong. I was upset and stressed regarding this…started to get migraine.
February 20, 2008: Dennis was on the phone in the middle of the office (about 10 feet from me) with Tim who was out of town for work. They were talking about people Tim had seen, spoken to, etc. I was not following the conversation or paying to much attention as I was doing my work. All of the sudden I hear from Dennis’s mouth, “She’s a stripper! Swinging around on her pole. Can’t image the tricks she can do, I wonder how much she charges.” There were a few other comments made and thru this I stopped working and gave him a look of disgust. When he got off the phone he came up next to me and asked what I wanted. I asked why he thought I wanted something and he said it was because I gave him a look. I said, “Dennis, that look was of disgust and shock not that I needed you for anything when you finished your conversation.” “Why, what’d I do now?” he said. I replied, “Your stripper comments are not nice or appropriate!” He then said that they were just talking about some guy’s wife and that she’s probably a nice person and that he probably shouldn’t have said that. This was said in a tone and attitude as if he were placating me.
February 22, 2008: Dennis came up next to me and said “Wow you’re hot!” To which I moved from him and said “excuse me?” and he looked under my desk, pointed, and said “oh you have that heater under your desk.” And I said “yes.” He then went to correct himself by saying, “oh ha ha that came out wrong, I meant…” and I cut him off and said, “I know what you meant Dennis. It’s ok, let it go.” He then walked away from me and over towards Tim. He stopped and turned and said, “I’m not saying you’re not hot, cause you are hot, you’re very hot!” and I put my head in my hands in disgust and said, “Dennis please just stop, can you ever stop!” Tim wheeled over and looked at me with bulging eyes as if saying “What did he just say?” Tim and I then proceeded to email back n forth about this a few minutes and he tried to calm me down as he saw me sitting here red and almost in tears as they were welling up in my eyes. It was rather difficult for me to talk at certain times over the rest of the day and on the phone to customers as this entire week has been one inappropriate remark/action after another. And that they were so blatantly said and rolled off one’s tongue like nothing. There is no respect for me and it hurts my feelings and makes me feel as if all my efforts, hard work, and getting things done here are over looked, not appreciated, will never be rewarded for my good work or anything. I am a second class citizen to my boss and nothing else.
***Over the years of me being here I have had small incidents that have made me rather uncomfortable and want to crawl out of my skin and hide. The strange leering Dennis makes at me. I am not blind and not dumb. I see where eyes go. I have repeatedly been ogled and my chest area glared at. I do not point these out as I don’t know how to exactly and feel that I will be more uncomfortable if I say something like, “My eyes are up here!” I usually cross my arms over my chest, turn away and such, etc. Dennis periodically comes over to my desk and thumbs around things “checking things out” and I have in the past moved away from him (rolled chair over if I could) and even gone so far as to explain on a few occasions “my personal space” and how I do not like people over my shoulder and such. Dennis has come up behind me and touched my hair clips, nudged my arm, put hand on shoulder. With each of these occurrences I pull away. But point is not gotten.
On all of these occurrences people have been present in the office. Be it Bill, Dave, Andy, or Tim. I can not say any ever take note of it or remember specifics. But I do know it has all happened with others present which adds to the insult and my stress. I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t say something. Or take Dennis aside and say, “Hey, that’s not right…….”
