Well, on this Fathers Day I find myself being a bit reflective.
My Dad passed away 12 years ago of liver disease. He was quite sick, had a transplant, and died anyway. There were many, many things I did wrong in our relationship, but one thing I DID do right was that I made my peace with him before he died. He had been an awful man who was very selfish and treated me terribly, but as he got older he realized what he had done and reached out to me. It was my ex-husband who made me see that harboring ill feelings was just hurting ME in the long run (one of only a handful of good things that he did during our marriage LOL). So I had a good relationship with my father, and he turned out to be the only one in my whole life who never judged me. Probably because he didn't want to be judged himself...who knows. I am just thankful that we were close and I have many fond memories now that he's gone. I miss you, Daddy.
I had two step-fathers (yes my family is screwed UP. My parents were married SEVEN times between them). One was a nasty man who was an alcoholic, made terrible comments about my body, and was mentally ill. He was married to my mom for ten years and only when I went off to college and he beat her did she find the strength to get rid of him. He STILL tries today to manipulate me but he's gone from my life.
My other step-dad, Ron, was a wonderful man. The kind of guy who would do ANYTHING for you. He had had a hard life (mainly by his own doing) but he never hurt anyone and he loved me unconditionally. He had some issues (had been a drug addict and drank like a fish) and when he got sick, he continued to do it. I pulled away out of necessity as I was seeing him die before my eyes, but I will always remember him fondly and he was the only one in my life who has ever been totally selfless.
So, on this Fathers Day, I reflect. No, my dads weren't perfect. I hope they are all at peace.
I only hope that my daughter can some day have closure with her dad. He is not what you would call a "model father", if a father at all. He feels that paying child support is enough...and while I am thankful for it, I'd give it up glady if he could for ONCE be a good dad to my girl. My heart aches for her as I remember how it felt to not have that. Unfortunately, all the prodding in the world and the nice or not-so-nice comments to him do not work.
So, please let your Dad know how special he is today and every day. One day you will not have them to argue with, roll your eyes at, or shake your head about. And trust me, you will have regrets about the time you have lost.
