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What are you waiting for?
[Tech N9ne]
I don't even wanna fucking do this song, for real
But I wouldnt be real if I didnt
[Tech]
I be sittin by myself and I be thinkin, mamma what have I become
All I wanted was a family, but when I look I be the only one
Losing everything but money, everybody left and I dont even get to see my young
Only happiness I get is in the studio or when I get to do another run
On the road, doin shows, get the woes, when it slows
gettin cold, getting old, but the flows, gettin sold
I've been doin this a minute but I think I wanna end it cause I'm on a higher level when I go
But the music I be doin it, be losin, make it hard for me to grow
All I wanted is a family portrait, see my babys on a ranch with horses
But I was fucking devil bitches in corsets. I was livin really good but I torched it
I'm sorry ms jackson, I'm speakin for real and I never meant to make your daughter cry
But I guess I'm a failure with women and I'm lost and I feel like I ought to die
Feel like I'm rotting away, my life is just off in the grey
How much does it cost I will pay, to lay, and be off in a coffin today
I mean off in ashes, this life, and after it clashes, If I get blasted
This is Suicide Letters all over again, I thought that I passed it
But I guess that I didnt, cause this one is written and there is no mending
When I'm broke I'm a joke, when I croke I just hope I wont be descending
But this ain't a joke, I want you to know that Tech ninna is never pretending
Alone in my bed, a gun to my head, asking WHERE IS MY HAPPY ENDING? Ya
[Chorus]
Tell me how it ends?
What about me? Where is my happy ending?
What about me? Is this a life worth living?
You know how it begins, but how does it end for me?
Will I ever win, or does he have it in for me?
Will this pop before I stop breathing?
Is their a light, in this dark I'm seein?
[Tech]
I put my life in this music, nina is inside out
I set my heart out for people, they know what the inside bout
Will they keep feelin nina forever, this I doubt
Can never cry for help, if you listenin this my SHOUT
I'm searching for the passage way to happiness
But i'm wordly So I have to lay in nastiness
Yes, this is Strange year, worldwide fames near, but the games queer
Sometime I feel like I'm rudolph, the reindeer
But instead of a red nose, I stay in my red clothes
And the music they said blows, is on top and the cred grows
Can you ressurect a mother fucker that feel like he pose as a dead soul
Deteriorate to an inferior state almost equal to bread mold
Now as my head goes, wish I could shed those
Because all the time the nina was shorted, what I bled froze
So now that I'm cold blooded, and hella sick is what the med shows
The tread slows, and dont even think you reviving a dead rose.
[Chorus]
[Tech]
I'm on the verge of insanity, but I'm competant
I'm breakin so I pick this one to vent
The reason I look away when you talk to me my brain is producin evilness
I'm drownin in 151 and rumple minz. Thats how I feel
I sit in the mirror with this gun and practice how to kill
But I know damn well that the people like me really wanna know how to chill
This life is about a check, about a number about a bill
Think about all the love I lost cause my quest is about a mill
I feel like your stupid, dont talk to me I'm crackin up
And I dont mean laughter I'm full of bitterness and its backing up
And I live with angles, but lately demons been shackin up
Tug of war with my spirit, you see the blood I'm hacking up?
I love my kids and my fans inside I sob harder
Cause you pay the price for my life and its right like Bob Barker
And I wont pretend its ok I'm no facade starter
So I guess my only happy ending is in a massage parlor
[Chorus]
The following are some of my favorite quotes from the book "Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai".
"A warrior should not say something fainthearted even casually. He should set his mind to this beforehand. Even in trifling matters the depths of one's heart can be seen."
"If we were to cast aside every man who made a mistake once, useful men could probably not be come by. A man who makes a mistake once will be considerably more prudent and useful because of his repentance."
"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything."
"..it is better not to become acquainted with men about whom you have formerly had some doubts. No matter what you do, they will be people by whom you will be tripped up or taken in. To be certain of this fact you must have much experience."
"The occurrence of mysteries is always by word of mouth."
"When someone is giving you his opinion, you should receive it with deep gratitude even though it is worthless. If you don't, he will not tell you the things that he has seen and heard about you again. It is best to both give and receive opinions in a friendly way."
"There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment."
"One should be wary of talking on end about such subjects as learning, morality, or folklore in front of elders or people of rank. It is disagreeable to listen to."
"It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this."
"When intimate friends, allies, or people who are indebted to you have done some wrong, you should secretly reprimand them and intervene between them and society in a good manner. You should erase a person's bad reputation and praise him as a matchless ally and one man in a thousand. If you will thus reprimand a person in private and with good understanding, his blemish will heal and he will become good. If you praise a person, people's hearts will change and an ill reputation will go away of itself. It is important to have the single purpose of handling all things with compassion and doing things well."
"Lord Naoshige once said, ""There is nothing felt quite so deeply as giri. There are times when someone like a cousin dies and it is not a matter of shedding tears. But we may hear of someone who lived fifty or a hundred years ago, of whom we know nothing and who has no family ties with us whatsoever, and yet from a sense of giri shed tears."" giri = a sense of honor, debt of gratitude
"When you are listening to the stories of accomplished men and the like, you should listen with deep sincerity, even if it's something about which you already know. If in listening to the same thing ten or twenty times it happens that you come to an unexpected understanding, that moment will be very special. Within the tedious talk of old folks are their meritorious deeds."
"The basic meaning of etiquette is to be quick at both the beginning and end and tranquil in the middle."
"When there is something to be said, it is better if it is said right away. If it is said later, it will sound like an excuse. Moreover, it is occasionally good to really overwhelm your opponent. Also, in addition to having spoken sufficiently it is the highest sort of victory to teach your opponent something that will be to his benefit. This is in accordance with the Way."
"Walk with a real man one hundred yards and he'll tell you at least seven lies."
