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we stress over hurricanes and the stock market fall. the economy,politics, and chinese dry wall. But just for the moment let's put these on hold, and pull for our boys in THE BLACK & GOLD ON colston ON Shockey ON Thomas and Moore, ON Bell and Bush, Like never before!! On Sharper ON Vilma defense, if u please. Forget not coach Payton and our passer Drew Brees. Our team is on fire! this we all know. But Santa , there's still a long way to go.with your help this christmas, we will reach our goal and our saints will win..... The 2010 SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!
Twas the month before Xmas n no sign of snow. But N.O. doesn't care cause Saints are 11 & 0. Dinkins scored a touchdown, Sharper intercepted a pass. And the Who Dat Nation cheered when Brady was sacked on his ass. Sunday the Redskins, 2 Washington we will go. And when the Black and Gold get finished we'll be 12 ...& 0...! Go Brees, Go Bush, Go Harper & Ellis, our teams UNDEFEATED and the others are jealous!
You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . A new twistJ
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9)
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row amon G the oarsmen about how to row...
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny
Things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail..
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate Fri end?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'
It's easy to
Understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?
We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble,
Line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the
Word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways&nbs p;UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP ... When the sun comes O UT we say it is clearingUP ...
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so........it is time to shut UP !
Oh . . . One more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U-P
From: The International Council of Man Laws.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other guy watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox360. End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say,'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your Wife squarely on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Man Laws.
Do you need glasses ?
Look at picture closely. 
Do you see the bum (cheeks) of the girl behind?
If yes, you need glasses as it is the shoulder of the girl in front of her
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed To beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule
Of thumb'
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen
Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered Into the English language.
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Every day more money Is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller Print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was Originally green.
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It is impossible to lick Your elbow.
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The State with the Highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get
This...)
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The percentage of
North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising A medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
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The average number Of people airborne over the U.S. In any given
Hour: 61,000
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Intelligent people Have more zinc and copper in their hair..
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The first novel ever Written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National
Monuments.
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Each king in a deck Of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, The Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
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If a statue in the Park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air,The person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in The air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died Of natural causes------------
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Only two people Signed the Declaration of Independenc e on July 4, John Hancock
And Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2, but The last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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Q.~~ Half of all
Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A.~~ Their birthplace
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Q.~~ Most boat owners Name their boats. What is the most popular boat name Requested?
A.~~ Obsession
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Q.~~ If you were to Spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you Would find the letter 'A'?
A.~~ One Thousand
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Q.~~ What do Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser Printers have in common?
A.~~ All were invented By women.
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Q.~~ What is the only Food that doesn't spoil?
A.~~ Honey
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Q.~~ Which day are There more collect calls than any other day of theYear?
A.~~ Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's Time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase ... 'Goodnight , sleep tight'
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts...
So in old England , when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them
'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'
It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill , they used the whistle to get some service.
'Wet your whistle'
is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their
elbow!
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave...
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6.. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web -site at the bottom of the screen.
8.. Leaving the housewithout your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your coffee
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were obama fans.
Not really knowing what an obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again.
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an obama fan."
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican."
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an obama fan."
