> 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
> the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd
> done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
> started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you
> forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will probably never
> put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper
> good-bye...
>
> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy
> Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
>
> My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
> 'Did you start at 1?'
>
> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
> changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to
> wash her hair. As she
heard
the children getting more and
> more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she
> threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
>
> putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
>
> room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
>
> 'Who was THAT?'
>
> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
> her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside
> on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a
> tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
> raspberries in the woods' The little girl was wide-eyed,
>
> taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to
>
> know you sooner!'
>
> 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
> 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?' I
> mentally polished my halo
and I
said, 'No, how are we
> alike?'' You're both old,' he replied.
>
> 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
> grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
> writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
> 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.
>
> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
> colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out
> something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and
> was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At
> last, she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think
> you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!'
>
> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,
> we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from
> attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
>
> Noticing them before I did,
Billy
whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa.
>
> Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
>
>
> 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
> replied, 'I'm not sure.'
>
> 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised, 'mine says
>
> I'm 4 to 6.'
>
> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her
> grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to
> make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little
> surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's interesting,' she
said,
>
> 'how do you make babies? 'It's simple,' replied the girl.
'You just
> change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
>
> 11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a
> public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
> 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The
> teacher took the lad aside to
correct him.
'Don't
> you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
> 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means
>
> carrying a child.
>
> 12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to
>
> their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
> Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
> The children started discussing the dog's duties.
>
> 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
> 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good luck.'
>
> A third child brought the argument to a close.'They use
>
> the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants.'
>
> 13. A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
> ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND
WHEN WE WANT
>
> HER, WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER
>
> VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE
AIRPORT.
'
>
> 14. GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME
>
> GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS
>
> SMART AS HIM!
>
> 15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you
> hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
>
> Send this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or
> heck, send it to everyone. It will make their day.
>
