> *Dear Wife:*
>
> *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you
>forever. I've been a good **man to you for seven years and I have
>nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
>called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last
>straw.*
>
> *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that
I
had a
>new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
>pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep
>after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me
anymore;
>you
> don't want sex or anything that connects us as
husband
and
>wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;
>whatever the case, I'm gone.*
> *Your EX-Husband*
> *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving
away
>to West Virginia together! Have a great life!*
>
>
> *Dear Ex-Husband -*
>
> *Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's
>true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good
>man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much
because
>they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't
>work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the
> first thing that came to mind was "You look just like
a
girl!"
>Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say
something
>nice, I didn't comment . And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
must
>have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
> seven years ago. *
>
> *About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because
>the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a
>coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that
>morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could
>work it out.
>
> **So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
quit
my job
>and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were
gone.
>Everything happens for a reason, I guess.*
>
> *I hope you have the fulfilling life you always
wanted.
My
>lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from
>me. So take care.*
>
> *Signed,*
>
> *Your Ex-Wife, **Rich As Hell and Free!*
>
> *P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla
>was born Carl. *
> *I hope that's not a problem.*
>
> --
> "KEEP A SMILE AND YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A HAPPY
THOUGHT"
>
