Those of you who know me are aware of the fairly ridiculous time I've had in the Memphis dating scene.
I have had one hell of a tumultuous ride with a fascinating array of women through casual dating coupled with the seemingly endless pursuit of carnal pleasure, and ultimately, love.
The last one of course has remained unfulfilled, otherwise I wouldn't be bitching about my trials and tribulations, but for the most part I've kept that aspect of my life private; as this is a humor post first and foremost and I doubt most of you give a rat's ass about who I'm dating. (or not)
However, I recently came across a site through the magic of Technorati that I probably never would have found otherwise.
It seems a girl I dated back at the beginning of the summer for all of a week or two apparently felt so scorned by me that after looking me up on Myspace and discovering my blog, in turn decided to start her own blog, Suddenly Everything Has Changed.
She clearly wasn't that creatively juiced as the blog folded after two posts, but the narcissist in me can't help but feel a perverse satisfaction that I was the impetus behind this girl's decision to air out her feelings on the Internet.
Nothing in there's particularly earth-shattering, although I like her sugar-coating of certain details:
"After a few hang out sessions (give or take a few make out sessions), a hundred missed calls, and about as many empty promises later, things just didn't pan out for us. We were both busy with work, it was summer in Memphis, and naturally we were both out meeting/hooking up with other potentially more attractive/interesting people."
AHEM
*blank stare*
Bitch Please!
Im only gonna put this shit on front street cuz her psycho and deranged ass is not on my friends list and I dont have to worry about her reading this.....then again....Im gonna put it in my blog section so.....she can E stalk my shit till her panties soak.....
I mean.....She was a perfectly nice girl, but upon hanging out with her a second time sans the sweet, sweet deception of alcohol, I realized I just wasn't attracted to her.
Hence the missed calls and empty promises, which is a proud way of saying I completely blew her off.
What??? Dont act like you havent done it! I know for a fact that Ive been the victim of at least 4 chicks on my friends list blow-offs myself.
The difference between them and myself.... is the simple fact that....if i dont like your ass....I tell you that I dont like your ass....
Im not a nonconfrontational person in the slightest.
I dont play games with affairs of the heart. And being in the city where chicks throw hot pots of scalding grits on your ass....I ain't goin...... Word to the Rev. Dr. Minister Al Green!
This is my thing....i can respect your gangsta...if you arent interested in me.....Im not the best looking mofo around....(but Im far from the worst)....However....tell me that shit off top.....and since im dense sometimes....be explicitly clear about it!
Cuz im kinda persistent....and I hit homers a lot more than I strike out....so i may not be used to rejection.....
I dont step to too many chicks.....cuz i really dont like ya'll broads....I just hate dudes even more......and Im psuedo homo phobic....not that any gay dude would ever like my ass....(not my ass....but my ASS)....ya'll know what Im tryin to say.....
and if it wasnt for a exhaustingly need to get laid.....and to do so with a consistent sex partner.....cuz my bar skank hunting days are over.....I'd probably never say a word to most women....
Besides...... Im still not sure of the difference between stalking and romantic sometines...... so I may just think you are playing hard to get and kick it up (my mack Game) a notch....which makes me come off like a bully and over aggressive.....but.....
fuck that Im a commodity!
If you dont see it ....I do my best to make sure you see it....cuz the chick that findeth me....findeth a good thing.....or something like that....
So like i said....if i am trying to get at you....and you arent feeling it.....say that.....dont put me in a friend box or none of that shit....cuz then ill never talk to your ass again.....
If I wanna be your FRIEND.....I'll place myself in the friend zone.....not saying I still wont try to hit it....but since that is all I'd want to do with your ass.....I dont care if you are down or not...hahaha....no bruised ego on my part.....and then if you should find yourself drunk and horny with me.......it wont make you feel bad if we end up scraping......and we'd still be friends the next day NO STRINGS ATTACHED! *wink*
but dont ever use that friendship shit as your excuse for not holla'n back....naah mean?
anyways.....back to the story......
Still, the last time I even saw the poor girl was mid-June (around my birthday party), and she decided to write about me over six months later at the end of December.
Not even I have that much of an effect on myself, and I'm one of the most self-absorbed people I know.
Another interesting point arises near the end -
"Contrary to who I thought I pseudo-dated, this online persona was rude, narcissistic, cocky, and came with a link to his myspace blog. Granted, his asshole status was truly secured upon reading an entry or two, but it got me to thinking. If this guy can circulate his dating escapades, moan about his life after college, and gain an online following larger than a third world country- couldn't a girl like me do the same?"
AHEM
*blank stare*
Now that's a scary thought - this girl had one opinion of me in person, but completely changed her mind after reading a few entries on my blog.
I feel like it's usually the opposite - a person perceives an individual's online persona as being a dick, but in the event they meet the person, their opinion is generally reversed.
I have pissed a lot of people off because of my blogs and bulletins....but I assure you all....Im far from Racist, Bigoted, Close Minded or any of that bolshevik!
I crack jokes on black folx & Nikras, white devils, pillow biters, jew fros, spics and wet backs, towel heads, nutbushites, rednecks, ho bags, bar skanks, and any other sub genre of humanoids. And I crack all of those jokes with the same amount of regularity and viciousness.....cuz thats how i get down....yeen know?
Anyone with half a brain knows a lot of my writing is simply that - a persona.
I'll say just about anything to try and get a laugh.
if it aint funny....dont laugh and delete thyself....trust me a lot of folx have.....hahahaha
Sure, a lot of it might be something I'm thinking, but for the most part anyone who comes to this site should take what they read with a grain of salt.
And what the fizzle is she doing saying "granted"...thats my edifier.....is nothing sacred trick? *sigh*
Hey, I'm the first person to admit I can ocassionally be an ass, especially if your only perception of my personality was through this blog, but as a rule I'm pretty damn charming in person.
Unless we've dated and you're not pretty/funny/smart/have sex with me enough. Then, and only then, might I be an asshole.
and that my dear people.....
is all....
