The next time you think about asking "What will they think of next?", stop. You may not want to know.
But I did. And I found out.
So, there are those of us who are quite familiar with a lady's best friend, the bullet. These can be used in an Oh So Satisfying fashion. Either alone or with a buddy.
But guess what? There is now a Plug and Play version. Literally. No more costly batteries. There is nothing worse than getting in the mood for some vibration and stimulation, only to reach in to the toy box and find the batteries are dead. Wait, yes, there is! Getting to the big "O" and zip, zilch, nada. WTF? That, my dear friends, is the worst.
Anyway, this baby doesn't need batteries. Just plug that little sucker in to the nearest USB port on your computer, fire it up, and off you go. And go. And go. And OH.
Don't want to do the work yourself? Never fear ladies! Don't want your lady to get it done without you? Never fear boys! Doc Johnson makes a rabbit toy that plugs in to your USB port that can be controlled via the internet. Tell me this doesn't bring a whole new meaning to "cyber sex". But how does the computer know when you are almost there? And how does it respond? Does it surge, teasing you? And when you reach orgasmic levels, does your CD-rom pop out for simultaneous peak?
And then there is your man. I happen to know one who would just have a blast with this thing. What is supposed to be pure bliss on my part, would be pure torture once he was through with it. He has this love of seeing me in orgasmic throes as many times as possible in a single hot, sweaty, naked session. Let's face it, you thought giving him control of the TV remote was a bad thing?
OK, so those work for those of us with an innie. But what about those with an outie? We wouldn't leave you out of the fun! Topco makes a Cyber Stroker for the gents in the house. It works with interactive sex games. Talk about 4-D. If they came out with a Naughty Nurse Nicci that could run nails up his back, while stroking his...err...ego, he would never turn off the computer.
Oh course being the ever worry wart, I have to wonder. What if there is a lightning storm and you get a power surge? That would be a pretty fucked up scene to walk in to as a paramedic. And I am thinking that the power surge had better kill me, because dying of embarrassment would be the next option. I can see myself telling St. Peter when I get to the pearly gates, "Yes, I was killed by a bullet. No, no, it wasn't a drive by. Yes, more of a plug in."
Imagine the poor 80 year old man at the local newspaper who has to write THAT obituary. "Local blogger Erotica died today at age 36. She was the victim of a tragic sex toy incident, fueled by recent thunderstorms. The retailers at blowfish.com have lowered prices to half cost today in mourning. Her fellow bloggers are wearing black USB cables tied around their arms in her memory."
