So, you've dumped her. Or she's dumped you. Either way, once you find yourself single, thoughts soon come around to meeting other women. But getting back in the game, especially after a long-term relationship, can be daunting.
The first steps back in the world of dating should not to be taken lightly. You shouldn't attempt to bed new women to take revenge on your ex, whether it's to lure her back with jealousy or as a way to get over her. You should do it because you're a single guy and that's what single guys do.
It goes without saying that you have to be completely over your ex before you get back into the game. Women will immediately pick up on it if you're using them to distract yourself or numb the pain. Exactly how long it will take to reach this stage varies: Some will find themselves cruising around the local pickup spots the very next weekend, while others may find it takes months before they can even look at another woman.
No matter what, it's worth the wait because the single life rules.
Cheer up then gear up
Immediately after the breakup, you're going to be miserable. Somehow you'll be bringing every conversation around to her, you’ll find yourself planning how to get her back and generally lamenting the fact that everyone else is happy while you are in hell.
Approaching other women with all this going on is definitely a bad idea. Women can smell depression and desperation a mile off, and the scent is not appealing to them. You might think a one-night stand or even a new relationship is a good way to get over her, but the inevitable rejection will batter your confidence and make you feel 10 times worse.
Instead of dwelling on your ex and the relationship, remember the good side of being single: all those late nights with the boys, the freedom to do what you want when you want and, most importantly, with whom you want. When you stop thinking that there's something missing from your life and start to relish the idea of being single, then it's time to start bedding other women.
If you're honest, you’ll admit that there were times when you were with your ex that you envied those who were single. Well, start smiling again because now you're one of them...
Take a look around
It's time to celebrate. You've mourned the death of your relationship and now you need to toast the birth of the single you. What is called for is a one-night tour of everything you've been missing while you were in the relationship.
Gather your friends. After listening to your moaning, they'll be almost as eager as you are for a big night out. Explain that, in one night, you aim to seek out everything that you couldn't do before. Take in a bar crawl, drop a few bets on the dogs and enjoy a strip club or two.
The point isn't to hook up with women. We've already noted that desperation is a major turnoff. The night is for the boys doing boy things. It marks you stepping out of the world of relationships and being welcomed back as one of the guys, making a gradual re-entry in the life of the carefree, single guy.
Of course, if you find that women are approaching you, don't turn them away.
One of the major benefits of being single is the chance of an unexpected hookup. If you're happy being single, then the prospect of this increases greatly.
Change locales
Now that you've been reintroduced to single life, don't stick to your old haunts. The new you deserves new territory.
There will be plenty of places, particularly bars, that your ex used to discourage you from going to; usually because that's where the hot, single women go to. Now you can stalk these hunting grounds with immunity.
Here you will be a fresh face, where no one knows the history of your failed relationship. The women there won't think of you as the ex of so-and-so, but as the new guy on the scene. These new locales are the perfect place to test out your new pickup skills.
Believe me: You'll need to learn new skills because the college-kegger tactics you last used won't work anymore. Check out The Player's Guide for detailed tips on how to make the most of single life.
Fill up your free time
Chances are you'll find yourself with more free time on your hands. A relationship takes a lot of time, and it's hard (not to mention unhealthy) to plug that gap with nothing but new bars and flutters at the track.
But even this can be beneficial to the newly single man. Your ex did the cooking? Then take up a cooking class. Here, you’ll fill your immediate need of edible food, gain access to new women in a nontraditional hookup environment (where their defenses are down), and add “the home-cooked meal” to your dating repertoire.
Plenty of activities serve the dual purpose of filling spare time and getting you back in the game. Coed sports, the gym, art classes, and singles holidays are great starting ideas.
the new hit single
The transition from being in a relationship to being single can be hard. But don't worry: It's all for the best. There are thousands of women out there just waiting to be bedded by you. So what are you waiting for?
