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Traffic Woes

I don't know about you but, I have a bug up my ass the size of giant millipede and it's about traffic. Every day I deal with people who aparantly lose their intelligence when they get behind the wheel of a car. SOme act like it's the first time they've set foot outside their house and it happens to behind the wheel of a car. I sometimes can see the road rager's side of things. If you're like me, you probably have invented a few new words to be added to the English vocabulary. I have classified some of these jagoffs in a fe categories, some I created, some that already exist. Green Light Uncertainty: These people will sit through a green light in what appears to a sad tale of them not kowing what a green light means. They either act like the light will remain green forver and can go when they fucing feel like it or they don't know what a green light means. IF you do not know what a green light means, watch sesame street one time without being swtoned and maybe you'll learn you fuckhead. Sesame Street is a prgram geared to an age group that isn't old enough to drive and most of that demographic can't even see above the dashboard, yet they know green means go. Green means go not when you fucking feel like it but go now you horse fucking son of a a bitch. It pisses me off when I'm behind two cars who do not go at a green light and still refuse to move when I've started honking my horn in sync with the words that are coming out of my mouth. I am of the firm belief that if you do not know what to do at a green light, you have no fucking business driving a car. Do everyone else a favor and let someone else drive. It will save a lot of anger. Rubber Neckers: OK, I understand the human urge to look at gruesome things we see on the side of the road. When you have t-shirts and posters glorifying road kill, that kind of shows we as humans have a morbid curiosity. However, when the road is clear and it's rush hour, do us a favor and come back and see it there are some of us who need to be somewhere and are already late. You are infuriating many a folk behind you. I doubt that you will change your ways but Robert Tilton is praying for you and will make sure you change your ways if you donate $1000 to his ministry. People who act like it is their first time out of the house: Hey, first I want to congratulate you for finally gaining the courage to emerge from the fortress and sactity of your house. I find it an amuzing coinience that it happens to be behind the wheel of a car. Yes, the world outside is a very interesting and happening place. However, if you feel the urge to stop at every point along your trael, pull over and enjoy the brisk air and scenery. It really bugs the shit out of me when I'm held up because someon hasn't seena cop car or ambulance before. Once you've seen a few, you will grow weary of their novelty. The only thing you have to do is move out of their way when their lights are flashing and their sirens are blaring. Just don't hold up traffic for doing so. Decimal point speed limit drivers This is a problem tha plagues many a preceived law abiding folk. They don't want to exceed the speed limit yet they fail to realise that the dot between the numbers is a bolt holding the sign on its post and not a decimal point. Remember buttface, the speed limit is 55 ont 5.5. The worst of these offenders commit this travesty in either a no passing lane or when there's a shit load of traffic coming from the other direction. It may not be a speedway but don't make me go Kurt Busch on your ass. Well, I've identfied the problems now it's time to find solutions. et me know what you think folks
Well, it is now September 2006 and in the sports world it is a crucial period on the calendar. NASCAR and Baseball are winding down, NHL and NBA camps are either in session or about to start, and the All_american ritual Football has begun. NASCAR's elite series, the Nextel Cup, is in it's final 10 races (the chase) to decide the 2006 series champion. The pennant races are getting closer to being decided which means my beloved and beleaguered Pittsburgh Pirates are already making their winter plans. Chcago Cubs fans are sadly all too familiar with this rite. Yet the Flordia Marlins are still within spitting distance of a wild card. However, a fever hits this country this time of year that infects many Americans, Football. The Canadian Football League is winding down but I'm sure some diehards in the Great White North try to catch some games that eminate from "Gringoland". I am proposing a little test to see how bad your fever is. If you follow at least 3 of the levels then you have it bad. We'll start at the different levels of football. Kids' leagues: With leagues geared for kids as young as eight, we see many of our nation's children putting on pads and helmets for the first time. For some, the biggest question of the season is "Do we get to keep our jerseys at the end of the season?" They play on shorter fields and sometimes require the fathers to act as goal posts for the extra point attempts. Many games don't keep score, some are low scoring affairs, and others end up with all the kids looking in the grass for all sorts of bugs. Betting lines are STRONGLY discouraged at this level. Not too many people follow this level as the next levels. JV These games count as far as wins and losses, but for te most part they do not have playoffs for the Junior Varsity teams. Some areas divide the JV levels between Junior High and Juinor Varsity. The betting lines sometimes start at this level and are strongly discouraged (as it should be at any level) High School Varsity For many players on theses teams, this is the first time of getting exposure beyond their neighborhood or school. There are some high school stadiums that seat more people than the towns or areas the schools represent. Handicapping often begins at this level so people (not all people use the odds lines for betting but as a way to get an idea of how the game is expected to end) can get an idea of who is exected to win. The best of these often move up to the next level, collegiate football. These games are often played on Friday nights. All teams play for te chance to be considered the best football team in their state and have playoffs to determine who is the best. Collegiate Football On Saturdays and, in recent years, Thursday nights many people descend upon our institutions of higher learning and fill the stadia of these campuses to root for who has the best team between the disputing schools. There are many levels of college football, there are two sanctioning bodies for collegiate athletics The National Association of College Athletics (NCAA) and the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics. The NCAA has four dvisions for football while the NAIA has two. The division that gets the most attention is NCAA Division 1-A. The next division down is D1-AA. These are considered the two elite divisions of the American college football scene. The biggest differences between these two levels is that D1-A has no playoff while D1-AA does. The National Championship is determined by a consensus. In recent years there have been steps taken to provide a clearer picture and a quasi-playoff system. There is annually a bowl game that is designated and rotated between the four biggest of these bowl games between the two top ranked teams (sometimes there is a split in that and is still argued and disputed). There are problems in this setup. One is that the smaller conferences have teams that have great records but are left out of consideration for the BCS (Bowl Championship Series or as some have come to call it Bull Crapping Shit). Another is that sometimes there is a split amongst the polls that are used to determine who goes to what bowl. The big thing is that some schools get screwed like a cheerleader at homecoming (no offense to the cheerleaders out there). It is time for a playoff at this level. D1-AA has a playoff system in place and has more schools playing football in this division than D1-A. The powers that be don't see the need for a playoff and come up with excuse after excuse for why there will not, should not, and cannot be a playoff in D1-A football. The main reason is the money that the bowls generate. I and many others feel that you can tie in thee lucrative bowls into a playoff system and it can be more lucartive for te schools involved. Sadly, as they say you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink, but you can beat the horse over the head and drown the fucker and get a new horse. One day there will be a playoff system in D1-A. There are lines on these games as well. Professional Football Since 1920, there has been a league that has provided football fans with football on a professional level. That league is the NFL, or National Football League. The NFL has become a juggernaut amongst the world's professional sports leagues since its humble beginnings in a car dealership in Canton, Ohio. Like many other succsess stories, they struggled around for many years before finding a niche and sticking to it. Their season is culminated in the world's largest and most watched single day sporting event called the Super Bowl. There have been many leagues spring up to compete with the NFL and they eithre died off or merged or were absorbed into the NFL. Unlike baseball, there isn't much complaints about expansion ruining the game. Fans of the NFL teams see a new team as more fodder for their cannons. It is one of the expressions of the American dream and ideals. Every year these teams enter training camp with every team havng a good shot at winning the Super Bowl. Every year there are teams that are expected to dominate and do as well as teams that are expected to fail and do. There is also the element of surprise. Every year there is at least one tema that is expected to be among the bottom dwellers of the leauge and end up having great years that are unexpected of many (sometimes the teams themselves) and the reversse also happens where a team that is expected to excell ends up losing more eoften than a scandal popping up in DC. The Lexicon of football Even people who do not like football often use the jargin of the game as adjectives or analogies. Phrases like "armchair quarterback" "Monday morning quarterback" and "when in doubt, punt" fill classrooms, boardrooms, and bedrooms of many Americans. Like it or not, the sport of football has the USA by the short hairs. It is a great distraction fro the perils and problems we fave very day. If you follow High School, College, and Pro football with much regulatrity, you have football fever and have it bad. This condition cannot be cured but can be treated. Treatment is simple take your self to the nearest football stadium on a thursday, friday, saturday, or sunday and watch the game and root for your favorite player and/or team. If you cannot get to a stadium, turn on your tv set or radio on a game that is being broadcast accompany with some favorite convenience foods and enjoy. Come February you will have gotten much of this fever reduced but there is arena football to help the worst get a fix. Te main point I'm making is that with all tat is wrong with the world, all that is wrong with your state and community, football is a great way to relax and take yourself away from your worries for a bit and worry and let out aggressions and strees at the screen, radio, or folks on the field. By the end of November, we will have a new champion in NASCAR, a team will win the World Series, The NBA will be sharing many arenas with teams of the NHL, and it Santa will be visiting after we've stuffed ourselves on a thanksgiving feast (which football is played, this year with four games). So go long and enjoy this new football season.
I figured i'd wait a few days before airing my views on these subjects. I figured, futilely, that waiting a few days to let my emotons die down would clear my head and give a calm monologue to encourage a healthy dialogue and civilized debate. I was wrong because thes are issues that are pressing on my heart and no matter how civilized a debate you want to have, it's like beating a bear over the head with a shovel and expecting him not to strike back. Anyhow, I'm going ahead and rant on these subjects and how they somewhat intertwine. I do encourage all of you to respond and share your views (not just repost to pass it along). So here goes: 9/11: Five years have passed since the twin towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were attacked. Sometimes it seems like it was a million years ago and yet sometimes it seems like it was yesterday. Disturbingly, sometimes it tends to slip mine and everyone else's minds. For a few days the United States, and most of the world for that matter, were united in the sorrow and demand for justice, retribution, and closure to the terrorism that has affected the free world's lives. Five years later, it seems like we are more divided than ever. The war in the Middle East is still going on and not moving at a fast pace. The news flash is this, many wars take years to end. The Americans' involvement in Veitnam didn't start the war there it ended it. The Vietnamese were fighting for 1,000 years before the USA set foot on Vietnamese soil. The USA became involved only after the French dug themselves in a quagmire and at their request we came in. The Americans came in at the end of WWI and because of the American involvement, the Allies were able to make that big push and achieve their victory. During WWII, the USA jumped in for two reasons. The first reason was because of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor and the second reason was because Nazi-run Germany declared war on the USA. If the US had not been involved in the war, odds are that those who would be alive would be speaking German now and the Jews and their faith would be extinct. The end result of the Allied victory is still being seen today with two of the largest trade partners to the USA being Germany and Japan. This war in the Middle East may not end anytime soon. It wold be great to be able to see or troops come home and never have to worry about having to fire a shot at anyone ever again. The reality of it all is even if with a victory, there will always be a threat to our peace. The cold hard fact about World Peace is that it takes war to maintain it. What few people fail to realise is that the terrorist organizations we are fighting are of the most extreme forms of the Islamic faith. Religious estremism exists in all religions. People want to say we need to understand them. There is one thing to understand about these radicals, that is they want one world government and they want it to be an islamic government and those who are not folowers of Allah must convert or die. They see America as the stronget and freest society in the world. The Bin Ladens and their ilk are not fools r idiots, they have studied the history of the world probably better than ost people. They see where others who tried to take oer the world with force failed. They saw how Hitler and Napolean made their mistakes in starting by taking over smaller countries and then getting stopped in their tracks when they faced the stronger nations who were in an alliance to stop them. These terrorists have a plan. Thier plan is to attack the United States first and if they can make the USA fall, the rest of the world will be much easier. They will try and will fight until they are stopped or life on earth ceases to exist. That is why they attacked the World Trade Center. New York is often referred to as the "Capitol of the World" and in many cases that is true, both socially and economically. The twin towers were part of the WORLD TRADE CENTER not the United States or George Bush Trade Center. Many financial offices, UN offices, and trade consulates were in those two towers. Among those killed were people from almost every nation on the planet and were doing work for their country. Te Pentagon is where the last superpower's military is headwuartered and they felt that if the Pentagon were to be knocked down, then the USA would have no Military strength at all. So in other words, it was not just an attack on America, it was an attack on the world. Many conspiracy theories have sprung u in the five years that have passed but I will deal with them later on in this diatribe. Though the war is taking longer than we would like it to we need to escape this fast food mentaility and realise that it will take a long time but if we keep working towards defeating our foes we will win and the war will be over much sooner. The dissenting tide towards the war is definitely demoralising our troops. Yes, mistakes have been made but like in the American version of football mistakes are made on every play. The main thing is to learn from the mistakes. One big mistake is saying "I support the troops but not the war." Well, even that sentient is starting to fade, but you cannot have it both ways. Every soldier, Marine, Airman, and Sailor is trained to fight in a war. That is thei job. The money for college is a benefit they get for serving in the armed forces, not the reason for joining. A person in a military unit is supposed to defend our country and obey orders from the country. During the Vietnam conflict or troops came home and didn't even get so much as a handshake. When I see a member of our armed forcesI make it a point to say thanks to him or her for their service. If it weren't for the troops, there would be no war nd no freedom either. Katrina: It is one year and counting since Hurricane Katrina ripped apart the lndscape and lives of my home state of Louisiana and the coasts of Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. In some places the recovery has come along well and others it hasn't. New Orleans area gets the most attention because it was the largest area affected. Some people were saying in essence "Fuck New Orleans" or "Why rebuild when it's going to be hit again?" and even, "Why not move New Orleans and rebuild somewhere else?". It pisses me off when I hear that. It is important to rebuild New Orleans. It is of many reasons as to why we must rebuild this once and soon to be again great city. Mayor Ray Nagin has made some comments that have put his foot in his mouth and put more bruises in a battered city. While I am no fan or friend of Nagin, I am going to say he has a tough job and that in order to make New Orleans not only to be back but better there are some attitudes that need to be changed. Before Katrina, a large portion of the Big Easy's population was receiving some sort of welfare or government assistance. Many of thes people were several generations into living under a welfare state. While it is a noble and needed effort to be able to feed and house our impoverished, the downside is that it creates an entitlement mentality and that doesn't help. One of the criticisms directed towards Nagin is how "only the rich will benefit". While that is not entirely true, we need to look at it this way: The rebuilding of New Orleans will take many years to be completed and it takes money to do so. The Federal government can only do so much. A large part of the rebuilding is going to have to come from corporations and people with jobs and money to be able to afford to rebuild. We need to encourage businesses to come to Louisiana and in articular New Orleans so they can create jobs and a tax base to generate revenue to build and provide money for the government and services. The biggest problems we face in Louisiana are the entitlement mentalities and the corrution this state has perfected into a science. once we can curtail the two, only then can we be able t have a successful, vibrant, and thriving New Orleans. How do we make these changes? Well, one thing is to create incentive for people to move to the area and be able to contribute to the growth and health of New Orleans. While I hate paying taxes, it is a neccessary evil. The only way to generate taxes is through money from the people. I feel that the lower and fewer the taxes the better because with a lower tax rate, in thoery and often in practice, it can allow companies to hire more people which means more people able to be able to afford to make purchases and thus allows more people to be able to purchase goods and services which generates sales tax and property tax revenue that results in more money for government to be able to provide for services for the good of the people. One problem in Louisiana is that Louisiana has a lot of corrupt people in government and coruption has existed almost as long as Louisiana has. There are some good and bad sides about politics in Louisiana. One good thing is that it is eas to be able to pass the buck to get things done, however, it is this same system that encourages politicians to want to keep some of the hange from that buck that is being passed around. Someties it means the buck is being passed around like a doobie at a Phish concert. While noble and ideal to think we can eliminate corrution, it is gullible to think it can happen. I suggest finding ways to curtail it, expose those who are the worst offenders and discourage those who are only slightly corrupt from becoming more corrupt. It is not an easy or simple task to do and will take longer than the rebuilding of New Orleans to happen. Hurricane Rita also hit the state hard and yet it seems to be the forgotten sister to Katrina. In the Lake Charles area they are facing some of the same dilemas as New Orleans is facing. It will take the same efforts as in New Orleans to rebuild on that area. One thing that is different in the Lake Charles area is that the entitlement mentality is less apparant than on the oter end of the state and that it is through private means of funding that the area is being rebuilt. Same with Mississippi, it is through private revenue that the area is being rebuilt and in many cases with more success than New Orleans. Maybe that is one example that New Orleans needs to look at. The levees are important and we need to find the most successful model and follow it with the caveat that even the best levee systems can fail at some point. Another thing to look at is the coastal errosion, once we can find away to restore the coastline of Louisiana and stick with it, the better the whole state will be. Blaming Bush: There have been many people who blame Bush for all the problems in America. I have two word to that end: Bull and Shit. George Bush, though he is the President of the USA, is just one man and can only do so much. He may not be the most articulate leader we have had but he is not the worst. George W. Bush has been blamed for 9/11 and Katrina. I will only tap a little into the conspiray theories a bit here and say this, Bush may have made mistakes in he days leading to September 11, 2001 but he wasn't the only one. Bill Clinton dropped the ball and left it greasy when Bush came into office. They say hindsight is 20/20. While cliche, that is true but foresight is often blind unless we learn from the past mistakes and not do them any more. I am waiting for people to start blaming Bush for the sinking of the Titanic or the Lindburgh baby kidnapping. While you may not like the current president, he isn't the antichrist. Tkae time to think about this, he is human. They do not give him a blue suit with a red cape and red underwear when he takes the oath of office. Every President has made mistakes, even George Washingon. There has never been a unanimous choice for President of the United States and it is unlikely that there ever will be. That is one of the great things about the USA. We can dissagree and yet be able to have a majority decide what is best as well as let history decide on how our leaders did. Conspiracy Theories (regarding 9/11 and Katrina) Since the two biggest tragedies in the US's history hav happened during Goerge Bush's administration, there hae been numerous conspiracy theories regarding these tragedies. The scariest part is how these are gaining credence in mainstream society. Many of them place Bush in the center of these conspiracies. It is sick and can be blown out the water big time. The 9/11 conspiracies. Several College professors and some "watchdogs for the people", among them being conspiracy theorists, are saying that it was not planes that attacked the buildings. Some are even saying that they never took place. All of these claims are thrown in George W. Bush's face as the mastermind. This is easy to blow out the water. First off, if there were no attacks, how do you explain the wreckage of four large passenger jets and the 3,000 dead, and two of the tallest buildings in the world that wre prominent in the Ne York skyliine until 9/11/01 that are no longer there? Many of these people who subscribe to these "Bush did it" theories also claim him to be an idiot. Well if Bush is an idiot and able to pull off this "hoax", wouldn't it take someone of an intelligence level much higher than that of an idiot? If you say Bush pulled this off and that he's an idiot that means you are talking out both sides of your ass and need to question your intelligence as well. The point is that think about the theories before getting behind them. To blame someone for something that requires a lot of intelligence and clever planning and yet say that the mastermind pulling this off is an idiot is very contradictory and makes the person spouting it off as an idiot as well. Katrina Conspiracies There have been some conspiracies that Bush was behind Katrina. While he may have been slow to respond, he did respond and there is a lot of reasons why. Some people ave actually said that he caused it to happen and that he created the huricane. Ok, back to the "Bush is an idiot" premise. To be able to create changes in the weather means that one is God. Bush is not God and last time I checked God is not an idiot but omnipotent, as are the gods of the other beliefs, and I believe Bush to be very intelligent and not an idiot. While I think him to be intelligent, to get two degrees from ivy league schools requires some bit of cleverness, I do not think of hi to be God. Some people claim that they heard explosions when the levees burst and sent a flood of biblical porportions into the Metro New Orelans area. Well, try this out: Take a garden hose with a sprayer nozzle on it and put it in a planter that has tightly packed dirt in it. Create a hole just big enough for the hose to fit in the dirt and then turn the water on and squeeze the nozzle's trigger. Slowly squeeze the trigger and watch as the pressure increases how it bulges and suddenly bursts. When the burst happens, listen to the sound of the dirt. It should sound like a fire crakcer going off. Multiply that by a lot and think. It sounds like dynamite or C4 doesn't it? That is what created the "explosions" those living near the levees heard. The main thing about conspiracy theories is that they create chaos. Some people ignore them, but igonring them is not what we should do. For every one person who ignores the conspiracy thoery, there is someone who takes it as gospel. The more it's ignored the more it gains credence. Instead of ignoring conspiracy thories, listen to them and investigate. One of two things will happen when you do, one the theory is debunked or proven true. One other thing you must address about conspiracvy theories is that people will believe what they want to believe. There are people who still believe that the Earth is flat and have an organization called The Flat Earth Society that promotes the beilef that the Earth is flat and they go out of their way to prove their belief. We have discovred over 500 years ago that the earth is round and yet there are people who still believe the opposite. To paraphrase a line from the movie Dogma, to change an idea is easy but to change a belief that takes work and determination. However, we should do our homework and then debate and try debunk the theories.
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