If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." -George W. Bush
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
And Finally
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
