eyesblu31's blog: "Funny"

An 8 year old boy was riding his bicycle in Bryan, >Texas, when he saw his friend being attacked by a large pit bulldog. The boy jumped off his bike, ran and jumped on the dog's back. After prying the vicious animal's teeth from his young friend's body, he put the dog in a choke hold and held on until the dog was dead. The local newspaper editor happened to witness this feat and after calling for the ambulance on his cell phone, ran over to the young hero and said, 'Son, that was one of the bravest things I have ever seen.You're going to make tomorrow's headlines.' 'It will read: Texas A&M Fan is Hero: Risks His Life and Saves >Young Friend from Vicious Pit Bull Attack.' The youngster said, 'That's nice, but I'm not a Texas A&M Fan.' The editor said, 'OK, then it will read: University of Texas Fan Saves Young Friend's Life in Pit-Bull Attack.' The young man said, 'But I'm not an University of Texas fan.' The editor said, 'OK, then it will read, 'Rice Fan Saves Friend's Life.' Once again the young man interrupted, saying, 'I'm not a Rice >fan, either.' The editor, becoming somewhat irritated, asked, 'Then, who is >your favorite team?' The kid replied with a big smile, 'LSU!!!' The next morning, the local newspaper headlines read: 'BELOVED FAMILY PET MURDERED BY MEAN LITTLE COONASS'

The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following head line the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted.He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery. . Even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll bea lot happier and livelonger!