There was an old cowhand who owned a small ranch in Montana . The Montana Wage &Hour Dept. Claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well," replied the rancher, "There's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board." "The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board." "Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night." "That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent. "That would be me," replied the rancher.

Sex Bully A man takes his wife to a livestock show. They start heading down the alley where the bulls are kept. A sign in front of the first bull says: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year! You could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and that sign states: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That's over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, big time." They proceed to the last bull and his sign reads: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open as she gasps, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That's ONCE A DAY! You could really learn from this one!" The man turns to his wife and says, "Yeah, okay. Go on up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow."